Control is a thing that is highly over-rated. I was a classroom teacher and learned to just get over it. The art is to savor the chaos and to keep steering things along in the right direction while understanding that learning, successes and growth come at their own rate. Knitting, scleroderma, life: lay your best plans, hope for the best, but know that dropped stitches, hail storms, and bad lab reports are a fact of life. Surrender to joy when you find it, and don’t sweat the other stuff.
It’s been 6 months since my diagnosis for limited systemic sclerosis (scleroderma), and for the most part it hasn’t been all that rocky. I got through the first round of medical testing with only three hospital bracelets, my doctors were nice and mostly informative, and some of my symptoms have subsided thanks to the immunosuppressents that I am on. New symptoms have appeared, however, and some surprising results showed up in routine blood work drawn two weeks ago. (OK, I was surprised. Now that I think about it, this is why there was so much medical testing 6 months ago. My rheumatologist was probably expecting this…) Even through I was warned to stay off the internet (really, they thought that would work?), I pursued the possible causes for the test results and went to PubMed to find out if there was a correlation with my symptoms, the test results and the auto-antibody profile that I have.
Well, crap!
OK, now I have a list of specific questions to ask the rheumatologist when I go see him next week. The internet can be a scary place, and sometimes ignorance is bliss, but I think that it is best to tackle these things head on so that I can make informed decisions. Still, I was a sad puppy at the start of the week which was one of the reasons I cast on new projects that facilitated smooth knitting and a zen like calm. Three projects at once? Sure. It’ll be fun!
Yesterday I decided that it was time to fight back; I packed up my purse, my knitting, and headed out to find some joy. Where can these things be found? At the local nursery and my favorite yarn store, of course!!
Look at the plant that I found! Happy, happy colors. I bought this and a cute little cyclamen in a hot pink.
Then I headed off to Colorful Yarns in nearby Centennial, Colorado where I knew ladies gathered to knit together on Wednesday afternoons. Oh my goodness, what a good idea that was. I had a great time knitting, was inspired by the yarns and projects of the other ladies and was even was treated to a decadent snack. (Rice crispy treats made with Nutella and drizzled with chocolate! Hello… if you are hunting joy, chocolate is always a hot ticket!! This recipe looks like what she made. Yumm!!) I made some friends and will definitely be going back next week. And the best thing? I was in a yarn store!!
No one should ever go into a yarn store while facing down mortality-related issues linked to their health status! Ever!! You can predict what happened here…
Time to cast on even more projects!! It is time for me to knit, knit like the wind.
This is me spitting in the eye of scleroderma.
Yarn, Books & Roses 
That is exactly my attitude: Stay afloat and steer the boat.
And I am in love with Down The Rabbit Hole. Those colors are just dreamy.
Exactly! Reef the sails and just keep going is my motto.
The Down the Rabbit Hole was the first thing I found. It was hanging out in a basket by the knitting table calling my name. I think that it influenced me as almost everything I bought had that orchid color in it.
Yarn shopping is one of the best medicines I know!! Just enjoy doing the things you can!! Sharon x
You’re right! I’ve had two good days following the yarn outing!
Beautiful yarn! Retirement rocks!!
Retirement does rock! I went to sleep pondering pattern possibilities for the gradient yarn instead of worrying about getting to the copy machine early enough to run off worksheets for my first class in the morning. It’s a whole life reset. 🙂