Do you see this sweater? I really liked this pattern, knit it in a non-conforming fashion, and then engaged in a hack to make it wearable. I blogged about it at the time.
This sweater is the Lace and Fade Boxy, by Joji Locatelli, and I was trying to make it work with the yarn that I had in my stash. I was really pleased with it when it was finished, but I never wear it. The sleeves aren’t comfortable. I don’t like the lace on the bottom any longer.
I’ve been watching upcycle videos lately as I consider making a coat from an old quilt (that is a whole other post…), and I thought of several sweaters that I no longer wear. Hmmm… time to upcycle some knitted items.
I knit a lace with a color that would go well with the original color of the sweater. This is why my stash is soooo large. I never, ever throw any old yarn away!
I ripped out the lace at the bottom of the sweater; I had added the original lace to make the sweater longer, but it didn’t look all that, well, lacey. This is what it would look like with this new lace, slightly purple, knitted lace substituted for the original stuff.
Oh, yeah. I decided that this lace looked better. I mean, purple, right?! Feeling pretty encouraged I ripped out the lace band on the sleeves and swapped in the new lace. Then, wanting to pull the look together, I ripped out the edging around the neckline and reknitted in the new color.
I will wear this sweater!!
I’m kind of fussing about how to knit some arm warmers to go with the sweater. Lace? No lace? Use some of the lace from the body of the sweater? Which color????? Yeah. I have parked all of those ideas in the corner for now, and I’ve gone back to knitting on my Weekender Crew sweater while I ponder my options and consider what to do with another sweater that I unhappy with and never gets worn.
This sweater is being knit from the bottom up and inside out. I know that it messes with your head, but it does work. The body of the sweater is purl stockinette, but I’m knitting.
The cat themed arm warmers are still parked in a corner but not forgotten. I keep fussing over colors and the order of the colorwork bands. Hannah is anxious to see what I come up with. I think that I will next knit mice, but I am reversing the direction that the mice face.
The pattern for the lace is from Juju’s Loops, and the original sweater that used it was called Swoon.
My original sweater was knit in a limited issue color called Ironwood. Since I could not locate any more of the original color I hunted for something that would work with the sweater and my wardrobe. Enter Penumbra, that dark dusty purple layered on grey.
What is a penumbra? That is the part of the shadow cast by celestial bodies like the earth or the moon. When we see an eclipse of the moon, the penumbra of the earth is on the moon. This yarn captures that color.
This new sweater is, obviously, now called Shadow of the Ironwood Moon.
The yarn that I am knitting the Weekender Crew with is from Spun Right Round in a colorway made specifically for the local yarn show where I go. It is called “September”.
I caught covid for the first time last summer, and I continued to test positive for almost a month. What a mess. As I slowly recovered, I simultaneously felt better symptom-wise than I had in quite a long time while also developing new symptoms that are now creating struggle.
That sounds kind of crazy, and I probably should unpack things a little. Let’s start with the better, okay?
Hannah: I wonder what she is thinking about all the time…
Last October I had a terrible flare of symptoms that caused extreme joint pain, fatigue, brain fog, digestive issues, and… I WAS UNABLE TO KNIT FOR MONTHS!!!! I struggled to read. It was hard to do even basic things. My GI tract was in full revolt. I began to wear knee braces every day, pulled out the walker, and pruned my diet down to a few reliable items that were safe to consume (lactose free yogurt, I’m talking to you!!) I began to lose weight at a steady clip of a pound a week.
The hand under the hot pack was last year, and you can see the damage that was left behind on my current hand on the right. Last year my rheumatologist tested me for lots of things and I don’t have gout, or pseudogout, or rheumatoid arthritis, or any other thing except common osteoarthritis: no signs of inflammatory arthritis. I thought that was crazy talk at the time, but it’s hard to argue with negative test results even though I feel like I am dealing with obvious inflammation (swollen joints too sore to touch, right?). Anyway, after a year of struggling to knit or even type, my symptoms went away as I recovered from covid and I have been knitting up a storm (well, sweaters, actually, but you understand what I mean). It has been great. I can knit all day if I want. I can literally stay in bed all day, knitting happily along, ordering in groceries and enjoying my books… in bed. I am full of creative energy and am making tons of plans that involve my sewing machine and the looms. I’m wanting to buy another loom (that I can use in bed). Really, things are going great. Fabulous. I’ve even restarted my physical therapy routine, and my mobility has improved.
Oh… why am I in bed? Well… in the wake of covid I have developed worst dysautonomia. I struggle to control my body temperature. My blood pressure crashes when I eat. My heart rate goes bonkers without warning. I’m too cold all day long, and then I can’t sleep because I’m too hot. “I’m so sorry,” said one of my doctors. “This is very difficult to treat or control.” Fabulous. I do want to point out that many of my symptoms are greatly improved, my latest lung testing showed even more improvement, and I feel stronger than I have in years. The hope is that I will get better in time, and in the meantime, the cats are happy to hang out with me as I fuss around the house.
I was just sitting and reading when I got very dizzy suddenly and sure enough, my stupid heart decided to go into overdrive. Another adventure in dizziness caused me to check my blood pressure; for me, that is very low pressure. After another 2 hours I was back up to 128/72 and feeling more like myself. My doctor has advised me to just eat little snacks all day and to drink lots of water if I eat an actual meal.
Scleroderma, this is not funny at all! Oh, well. At least I can now knit and read…
I do want to back up to my bad-boy hands that gave me such a terrible time for most of the year. When I saw my rheumatologist in November she checked my x-rays from last year and then took a long look at my wrists and knees. My wrists are significantly worse than they were a year ago (but causing minimal problems at the moment… go figure) and she decided to order up some specialized testing to take a better look at the joints. Today I drove to downtown Denver to get specialized ultrasound imaging of those wrists. The technician was just wonderful, and she explained what we were seeing on the screen as she stopped to take pictures. There was a lot of obvious damage, fluid in the joints, and calcium deposits in tendons. “You’ve really been going through a lot,” she said. Finally, some validation. It was hard to not feel hopeful as I walked out of the clinic. On the way back home, I stopped at my favorite yarn store for a little yarn therapy action, and that was when the day turned into a “Thoughts on the Night of the Last New Moon” post.
In a nutshell, this is my situation. I feel better, and I am happy, but I am dealing with significant difficulties because my autonomic nervous system is refusing to behave itself. There is no easy fix. My joints are a major ongoing problem with no end in sight, because I can’t do many of the traditional remedies because of my scleroderma. I want answers! I want cookies! I want yarn!!
I walked into the yarn store.
The first thing that I see is a stack of my favorite cookies!!! Yay! I put four boxes into my shopping bag.
Then I saw great yarn that I needed to have. Yep. Into the shopping bag they went with reckless abandon. I want these yarns; my stash has been feeling a little peckish. Obviously, it also needed to be fed. Then my phone toned the sound that told me an incoming text had just arrived, so I sat down on a loveseat right in the middle of the DK weight yarn section and read the message: the radiologist had already read the imaging from my wrist ultrasounds and the results were available.
Active synovitis of the joints in my wrist. Inflammatory arthritis. Ironic, since I’m feeling pretty good at the moment with minimal pain. I wonder what that wrist would have looked like a year ago. It is such a huge relief to finally have a lab result that validates what I have been telling my doctors (and experiencing) for years. There is value in sticking to your guns and asking for more testing. Evidently this type of imaging is new, and it identified the problem that the standard imaging techniques failed to see. I don’t know what can be done to help me, but the relief is immense.
As I drove home, buoyed by the cookie haul, the shiny new skeins of yarn, and a sense of success and validation, I took a different route, passing by a large lake just south of my home. In the sky above me a flock of white pelicans wheeled in the sky, huge white birds with black bands on their wings. My heart soared with them.
More little glimmers:
Through the entire outing my stupid autonomic system behaved itself and I didn’t get dizzy even once!! 🙂
I delivered chemo hats to the infusion center at the facility where I had the ultrasound done. I have a little collapsible wagon that I use to roll the bags of hats to the department were they need to go. People laughed and joked with me as I rolled through the hallways (one lady insisted on pulling the wagon for me on my way in), adding to the overall good feelings of the day.
Remember me mentioning last spring that I was following some bald eagles in Big Bear, California online? Every day I checked the eagle cam to see if the chicks, Sunny and Gizmo, had taken their first flight yet. This week the parent eagles, hard at work preparing the nest for the upcoming chick season, were visited by 2 juvenile bald eagles who in high probability (because of the behavior all the eagles are exhibiting) are their girls from last season: Sunny and Gizmo. It is just wonderful to see them back even though the parents aren’t going to let them come near the nest much longer.
It really is the last new moon of the year tonight.
The interstellar comet 3I/ATLAS is zooming past earth tonight. It has been fascinating to follow over the last few months as its behavior has led to loads of speculation and lots of data collection. Safe travels, little guy.
This isn’t a glimmer, not really. We are in the middle of a high wind event that has forced communities to shut down west of me and the power has been cut to those residents. I feel grateful that there hasn’t been a fire since the risk is enormous at the moment, but I feel bad for everyone impacted by this. Thankfully, we are also experiencing record breaking heat.
I fell and injured my right knee last summer. It still hasn’t healed, and it is getting a MRI next month. Fabulous.
I am planning another post about the yarn and knitting.
Don’t you think that I should treat myself to another simple loom that will be easy on my wrists?
Mateo: Don’t you think that my silver ruff is a glimmer?
I finished the Alchemist sweater (design by Wool & Pine) and I am really happy with it! This was an interesting knit for me and I learned new skills as I worked my way though the pattern. I’d like to unpack the whole process a little for you.
It all started with this DK yarn from Hue Loco called Razzle Dazzle.
Look at that yarn!! I had to have a sweater made from it and as soon as the Alchemist pattern hit the Ravelry pattern stream I thought that it would be a good fit. As I knitted along, I felt better and better about the match between the yarn and the pattern. There was a lot to appreciate (and some YouTube watching as I got new skills) along the journey. The first big “aha!” that happened was around the shoulder shaping.
That shaping at the top of the picture is a top-down, seamless, set-in sleeve with a saddle shoulder. It all messed with my head at first until I understood what was happening, but it was absolutely worth the headache. The sweater fits beautifully and there isn’t extra bulk in the sleeve as often happens in my sweaters. Pretty cool, right?
Then there was the ribbing that finished the neck opening. The back of the sweater was a little wonky, and I was not exactly thrilled with how the shoulders were looking at the neckline. I figured that all would become more clear in time, and that’s what happened. The directions on how to pick up the neckline stitches were a little open-ended as the designers give you flexibility in how many stitches to pick up and how deep to knit the ribbing. I picked up the number of stitches per row as suggested, and as luck would have it the stitch count was right on. As I reached the bottom of the front “V” I realized how to balance the ribbing around the center stitch (as it turns out, as long as you mirror the ribbing on the other side everything will be fine…) and the whole neckline pulled things together. The top of the shoulders became perfect, and the upper back of the sweater is formed by the ribbing. Oh. That’s why there weren’t any short rows to shape the upper back. The ribbing takes care of that.
Then there was the side slit in the deep ribbing at the bottom of the sweater. Before it was blocked the ribbing pulled in and the gap in the side was… not flattering. Blocking fixed that.
I did have to do some tidying up at the top of the slit when I did the final finishing, and now that the sweater hangs well, I’m happy with that divided ribbing. I wear long sleeve shirts under my sweaters, and the ease of the open sides is surprisingly comfortable. Who knew?
Finally, the pattern called for a sewn bind off. Ugh. So slow. So much stitching. So much whapping by bothersome kitties while doing it. It is really tidy and stretchy while keeping a nice edge.
Once again YouTube came to the rescue.
Here’s the final sweater, all blocked and ready to head out on a new shopping spree at the yarn store. The color is a little off (too pink) as I took the picture in the room with my grow lights, but you can see how nicely that ribbing and neckline came out in the end.
So, what am I up to now? I cast on some yarn to make arm warmers and started playing with my cat doodle pattern. It’s fun! I’m not sure how to handle decreases at the bottom of the warmer, but that what ribbing is for, right?
Behold: knitted Hannah!!
Was it fun to knit with four colors at once? No. It was not. Was it worth it? Absolutely!! I also cast on for another Weekender Crew sweater, but that is another post… Next on in the pattern sequence is some toy mice and then cat paws. The next time I go in for medical testing, these will be the arm warmers that I wear!!!
p.s. I am including some jade plant extras.
From left to right: a bloom on a jade plant, a bonsai plant, and the miniature jade plant that I bought to maybe make into a bonsai myself. I thought I would give it a few weeks in its new home before I put it into a smaller pot.
The Mother of Cats has been kind of amazed to see my new coat growing in this year. I do have to say, it is looking pretty good! Every year I make some adjustments to my coat, and this year I’m thinking that silver is a nice color. Here, I’ll show you what I’m talking about:
This is my coat in 2021. I was just a little guy, only 8 months old.
I was mostly a black cat, and the Mother of Cats was pretty amazed to see all the long fur growing in as she didn’t expect it. Last winter my coat was kind of brownish-grey, and it was really pretty long.
The picture on the left is how I looked in about April this year. The all black coat is what I looked like in June: big difference, right? Do you like the way my winter fur doesn’t grow across my shoulders? That is what makes the Mother of Cats think that I am partly a Maine coon kitty. Maine coon kitties are usually really large, but I’m really tiny and cute.
Okay, that is enough about me. I really want to show off the sweater that the Mother of Cats is working on. She has been knitting on it for a couple of hours every single day, and it is starting to look like a sweater!! Hannah really is a big help with this, and I sometimes hang out, but mostly I hang in at the front window hoping to see a bunny or two. We even saw a mouse in the back yard this week!!! Knitting is kind of boring when there is wildlife, don’t you think? Anyway, here is the sweater.
We really like doing the sleeves, Hannah and I, because the sweater can get draped over us as we sleep on the Mother of Cats legs.
Well, that’s about all that is going on here. The Mother of cats has been sewing (yawn) and going out for some errands (nap time!), and that has been the whole week. I sure hope something interesting happens out front soon…
Why does the Mother of Cats call me silly?
This is Mateo, signing off.
>^..^<
Notes from the Mother of Cats:
The sweater is the Alchemist Pullover. There is going to be ribbing added later around the neckline, and I am already worrying about yarn chicken…
I am wondering if the silver fur growing out now is related to Mateo’s medical misadventures over the summer. Poor Mateo did have a tough time there for a few days.
I saw a jade plant at the nursery with a few little flowers on it, and then I saw I jade plant bonsai tree. I have a huge jade plant that I have been growing for years, and now I’m thinking about taking some cutting at the next pruning so I can start a little bonsai tree of my own. It will be an adventure! Also, has my plant bloomed yet? No. No it has not!
This plant goes outside every summer, and some of the leaves on this plant have hail damage.
Why grow a bonsai from cutting off this plant?
That big boy is almost 3 feet tall and is getting heavier every year. Suddenly a bonsai seems really… cute. Besides, it isn’t blooming now, so maybe a bonsai will decide to bloom.
The bright moon that I watched rise through the trees to the east almost two weeks ago is now just a shining sliver in the western sky, invoking a glimmer of joy before it dips behind the Rocky Mountains. Goodbye, Beaver supermoon. You were really special.
I blogged about the Beaver supermoon here, and in that post I wrote about beavers, my burst of energy and surge of creativity as I worked through a pause and found new projects and books to read. I mentioned at the end about my community work making chemo hats. port pillows, and zipper pouches, and hopefully wrote: “Like the beaver, I hope that my work will ripple out and bring change in my community around me, supporting lots of new life.”
In the two weeks following that post there have been returning ripples and glimmers that were so intense that they were more like flashes of light akin to a lightning strike. Feedback that left me stunned and in tears. There’s a whole backstory here, so it will take a little to explain it all to you. Maybe you should grab a cup of tea and find some cookies. Ready? Here we go.
In 2014, after years of medical gaslighting, I was diagnosed with systemic sclerosis (a form of scleroderma) and Sjogren’s Disease. I was started on some medications, lots of tests were ordered, and just like that, my view of my future changed forever. I learned that there was a 50% fatality rate for my disease. I failed the first two drugs used to try to slow disease progression. Follow-up testing after a year showed that I had declined 27% in my lung function, and I was referred to palliative care. I was in grief. I began to compulsively knit. Overwhelmed, unable to cope with actually creating a garment that would fit, I made shawls. Lots of shawls.
I was moved to new drugs. I started a third immunosuppressive drug, one that was off-label and required a fight with the insurance company, and I began to slowly improve. Palliative care discharged me. I found more beautiful yarns to love, and more shawls to knit. The shawls began to pile up along with the number of diagnosed complicating conditions that were linked to my underlying autoimmune diseases, but I was okay; I had essentially knitted (and blogged) my way through grief, and I was now ready to take things on. I found new doctors who became collaborative partners in my care and faced down the monsters of new complications. Today I am much, much better than expected; my latest lung testing shows that my lungs have regained more function, and my PAH is under control. My cardiologist rarely mentions heart failure when he talks to me, and I am off oxygen.
As I got better, I began to knit sweaters. Lots of sweaters. I began to look for a home for the shawls. Last spring a friend mentioned the needs of patients at a rehab center in Estes Park, Colorado that she worked with. People often arrived there precipitously with little more than the clothes on their backs, and they needed warm clothes. She was thinking hats, mittens, and scarves, but I sent about 10 shawls.
I thought maybe someone would be able to use them.
Saturday, I asked her what had happened to the shawls. The rehab center has the shawls all displayed on quilt hangers that they installed, and patients take them to wrap up in when they go to meetings or whenever they need the comfort of yarny goodness. Instead of going to just a few patients, they are there for all, part of their recovery journey. Evidently, they are popular, and the center could use more. I was stunned, struck by a glimmer so intense that it was a bolt. I started crying. Those shawls, those things that brought me through a really bad time, are now doing the same for others. I had hoped that my work would ripple out a little, but this was so, so much more than I expected.
I have bundled up all of my remaining shawls, keeping only three back for myself, and I plan to send the rest up to the rehab center before the end of the year.
Shine on, Beaver Supermoon, shine on.
Footnotes:
Another glimmer: my son’s three cats were rehomed together to a wonderful lady who had lost a beloved cat. All three kitties are now happy in their new home, piling on and cuddling with her while she crochets in the evenings.
Look! Tachycardia!! I was reading a book when this happened.
My medical adventures continue, but after conferencing with my doctors following the latest round of testing, we have all decided to delay starting a third medication to treat my PAH (that’s pulmonary arterial hypertension if you are new to this blog…). That is kind of huge. I have SSc-ILD (interstitial lung disease associated with systemic sclerosis… do you see why they use acronyms?…), but I am not putting down scar tissue (fibrosis), and that is even more huge: it is rare to have one without the other. Do you see the glimmer? My prognosis for this condition, the leading cause of death for patients with systemic sclerosis, is stabilizing into the “she’s doing really well” column, and that is why we can afford to delay this drug.
My wrists and knee (the one that was injured in a fall this summer) concerned my rheumatologist, and she has ordered specialized testing, but all things considered, I am doing really well.
The Mother of Cats is living in CrazyLand these days. She is knitting like there is no tomorrow, and she found some more patterns that she absolutely, positively needs to knit this winter. She is full of ambition. She is making even more yarn kits for knitting projects. She is happy. SHE BOUGHT MORE YARN!!!! Like I said, CrazyLand!!!
It all happened with some new pictures and patterns that appeared on her Facebook feed and led her to Ravelry. Oh, my goodness. She found a sweater that she thinks would be perfect for her tubs of collected yarn. She has been sorting and sorting yarn, and dreaming the dreams, and look at what she has put together for a Hearthside Cardigan:
The Mother of Cats is pretty sure that these yarns can be combined to create that marled cardigan. Goodbye Sea Glass sweaters. The Mother of Cats (that fickle creature) has switched all of her affections and attachment to this new sweater. She is on fire to get started!!!!
That means that she is knitting away at her Alchemist Pullover every night and she is almost to the point where she can start the ribbig.
Then the Mother of Cats found a picture of socks knitted with the Cat Doodle patterns. Oh, oh. More craziness in the yarn stash happened right away…
But I think that she really should make some socks with tuxedo cats on them right away!!!
I thought that things were kind of settling down and we hadn’t dug around in the yarn for a few days when the Mother of Cats went to her favorite yarn shop to buy some cookies. Yeah. I thought that the story was a little fishy myself (hey… I think that it is almost time for my nightly TUNA snack. I’m hoping that the Mother of Cats puts a tuna onto the socks…), and sure enough, the Mother of Cats came home with more yarn for another sweater.
She said that the store had just restocked this color and that if she didn’t buy it RIGHT NOW she wouldn’t get the chance to get it later. She plans to make another Weekender Crew out of it.
I’m pretty sure that the Mother of Cats is out of control, but I’m supporting her the best I can.
So that has been the week. The Mother of Cats has snapped out of her inability to start a new project to this new (CrazyLand) version where she is lining up the projects up faster than they can be knitted. She is happy, knitting away on the sweater that is on her needles at the moment, and dreams of the new sweaters-in-waiting while she waits for the first snows to come.
Speaking of snows… Look at Mateo!! He is starting to grow out his winter coat and his ruff is looking like a ridiculous halo at the moment.
This year his new undercoat is coming in silver colored, which makes him look a little more elegant, but I have to say… he is still a silly boy!!
Guess that is all for now. This is Hannah, signing off.
>^..^<
Notes from the Mother of Cats:
Here is the link for the sweater that I am kniting on like crazy right now, the Alchemist Pullover.
I haven’t forgotten about the Colorica cardigan and the Renaissance sweaters. They are also dancing in the yarn stash trying to get my attention. My hands are doing pretty well with the size needles that I’m using right now, so I’m sticking with them for the moment, and the Weekender and Hearthside patterns use the same (size 7) needles.
I’ve made some good effort with the books that I’m reading over the last two weeks. I finished The Wedding People, stalled onBuckeye, read Nightshade by Michael Connelly, and I’m now listening to The Black Wolf while knitting.
The Wedding People is engaging, and a little hard to explain, but I do recommend it. In a nutshell: people are a little crazy around weddings, and there is perhaps too much focus on the wedding, and not enough on the marriage. At the heart of all relationships, people need to learn to identify and respect who they are, and to build authentic lives and goals based on that.
Nightshade is a police procedural thriller, and it is set on Catalina Island off Southern California. I know that part of the world fairly well, and the setting of the book was like visiting an old friend. The story was okay… there is a mutilated buffalo… a dead body is found… the investigator is at odds with the system… some rules are circumvented… our hero solves the murder in spite of the system and animosity of coworkers… there isn’t a wedding in sight.
The Black Wolf returns me to the world of Three Pines, somewhere in Quebec, Canada, and to Inspector Gamache. Another thriller of a sort, but gentle, introspective, and socially conscious with a huge cast of memorable characters. I’m enjoying the journey so far.
Hey, I want to say that I really did buy those cookies!!!
The supermoon just cleared the trees behind my house. It is really bright tonight, shining through my window, joy from the east. This moon is both special and hilarious at the same time: the Beaver Supermoon.
Oh, we have beaver here in Colorado! I used to go with my children at dusk to a local state park looking for them in a pond with a beaver lodge. The kids and I have seen adults and youngsters (kits) over the years. Sometimes they were in the shrubbery by the water, sometimes swimming across the pond, and I’ve even seen one chomping on a tree. I’ve accidently startled them (those tail slaps on the water will get your attention), and I’ve glimpsed them swimming across the water with a branch in their mouths. One summer we could see the drag marks in the wet earth as large sections of trees were dragged down to the water; these woody treasures provide both food and building material for the lodges and dams. Beavers are pretty special as their work in waterways create essential habitat for other species. This moon gets its name from the increased activity of beavers preparing for winter. It is also a larger moon this month, hence the name Beaver Supermoon.
This poster was on the wall in my classroom for years!
I’ve been simultaneously busy and stalled out lately. I have finally recovered from the absolutely horrible flare of never-ending tendonitis that forced me to abandon my knitting for almost a year. This is what my right wrist looked like last year at this time.
I tore the house apart as best as I could hunting for painkillers that I could take with this one!
The x-ray report after this adventure had the word “severe” sprinkled throughout it. My rheumatologist tested me for gout and pseudogout: both negative. She did write me a prescription for emergency prednisone and painkillers in case this happens again. Then the flare dragged on, and on. Then there was the car wreck and other adventures. I kept hopefully buying more yarn, and stockpiling new patterns, hoping that someday I could return to knitting.
Two weeks ago the pain finally stopped and I started knitting in earnest again. Look at what I managed to accomplish!!
My Extra Lite Bright is off the needles, finished and blocked. This sweater will become a layering staple for me this fall.
And just like that, I stalled out, consumed by endless yarny possibilities. I have all of this yarn! I have all of these dreams of new sweaters dancing around in my head; so many possibilities. What should I knit?????
As fate would have it, I also finished a book on the same day that I took that sweater off the knitting needles. Help! Double indecision!!! So many books waiting for me on my Kindle. Help. I’m on fire to get going, and unable to make a decision. Help me Supermoon, help!!!!
That’s how I ended up spending the day as busy as a beaver, kitting up yarn with patterns to make new sweaters. Yarn was wound, and a sweater was cast on… but I have two more sweaters that I have located needles for and I’m going to cast them on too. Three sweaters at once? Sure. Why not?!
The grey/pink yarn combo will become a Renaissance Sweater. The yarn in the middle (there are 5 colors there) is destined to become a Colorica cardigan. The yarn on the right has already been cast on and is becoming an Alchemist Pullover. There are some kits for more sweaters, but those are the ones that are seeing action right away. Why these three? Well… one is colorwork, one is a cardigan that will involve some lace and purling, and the third is just too cute to not get made right away. My hope is that no matter what my hands and wrists are up to, I will be able to get some knitting done.
Then there are the books. So many books. If I’m knitting three sweaters at once, maybe I should have several books going at the same time too. In that spirit I am reading and listening to all of these.
I’ve started reading Buckeye, listening to The Wedding People, and I’m pretty sure that I need a little Three Pines action right away, so it is going to be in action soon, too.
There are several other books nagging at me. I told them to go hang out with the yarn stash overflow. Still, they call to me. The yarn calls to me. I have fought my way through the indecision of making choices when surrounded by great possibilities. Is this what beavers feel when faced with a new stand of aspen? Whatever. I have made the decisions, I have made a start on the first sweater and the first books, and like the beavers that gave tonight’s moon its name, I am full of purpose and I have big plans.
There is a lesson here. A year ago, I was in a terrible flare, unable to knit or even read. The best I could manage was an audiobook, and even then, I had to play it over and over as I had trouble concentrating and following the story. I sought help, I tried new drugs, I stuck to my special diet, and I did my physical therapy. I came through that time, and now I am here, shining bright again. Just as the moon returns to full force at the end of each cycle, I have managed a comeback too.
In my excitement over the knitting and books I haven’t forgotten the chemo hats, port pillows, and zipper pouches that I also have to get done. Saturday, I get to meet up with all of my friends again for a sewing extravaganza to produce more zipper pouches, and one of my friends wants to take the three quilts that my sister started; they will go to a program for children getting their first bed. Who knew that this was a thing? Like the beaver, I hope that my work will ripple out and bring change in my community around me, supporting lots of new life.
I’m the most handsome boy ever! I’ve been helping the Mother of Cats knit this week.
The Mother of Cats was really busy and happy this week, and she says that all the new things are called glimmers: little moments that bring joy and peace. I think that she needs to maybe take another nap, because I don’t know what she is talking about, but there have been a lot of new things going on. Let me show you the best, most important one first!!!!
We got this new toy!!!! The blue line is moving on the pulleys, and it makes a little mousie race around the room. It changes directions and speeds, and no matter how many times the Mother of Cats makes it run, I need MORE CHASE TIME!!!! I love to chase this!!!!! Even Hannah is playing with it!!!
The Mother of Cats has started knitting again, and look at she managed to do this week.
That’s right. The Mother of Cats got a pair of socks done this week, and she took out her sweater and started knitting on it again. She was SO HAPPY when she tried the sweater on this week and it is going to fit just fine. Well, with me helping her, how could it not? She says that her wrists aren’t hurting all that much lately, so it looks like we will be spending more time knitting. Yay. I love to chase the yarn while she works. Why is the Mother of Cats so mean about sharing her yarn?
Also, she went out and bought this new yarn!!! Can you believe it? She says that she is going to make a sweater, but I think that she may have gotten carried away a little. She should spend the money on tuna and cat toys, right?!
Then there was all of the sewing. Hannah took over and helped the Mother of Cats at the sewing machine because she likes it a lot. They made little zipper pouches and these crazy little things called port pillows that are used by cancer patients who have ports (duh!!) when they ride around in their cars. Why anyone would voluntarily get into a car is completely beyond me, but the Mother of Cats says that there is a big need for these little things, so Hannah and she made a whole bunch of them and delivered them this week to an infusion center. She asked if I wanted to go along for the ride, and I was like…NO!!! That is just CRAZY TALK!!!!
Hannah: See how much help I am?
Yesterday the Mother of Cats went to her community knitting group, and while she was there a couple of ladies came in with huge bags of yarn to give away. When they were asked how they had learned about Frayed Knots, the group that the Mother of Cats belongs to, they said that they got the name from the paper insert that they picked up with their new port pillow at the infusion center. The Mother of Cats says that this was a huge glimmer!! The ladies were so happy to get the port pillows and the hats; they wanted to give to other patients too with their yarn. Luckily other people took all of that yarn because WE HAVE LOTS OF YARN HERE ALREADY!!!!! I think that it would have been better if they had brought some more toys for me to chase (or even some little bunnies that want to play chase…), but the Mother of Cats was happy, so I guess I am too.
So that was the week. It was warm and sunny, and the Mother of Cats managed to get the leaves off the lawn with her new leaf blower and vacuum/mulcher. She brought in all of the plants from outside, and now the knitting room is happy and full of flowers.
New clothes came, and you already know about the yarn. She went to her knitting group and had a wonderful time, especially since the lady who took those cats that stayed with us for a few weeks was there, and she said that the cats were happy in their new home, and even gave her a new toy for me.
That little ball with the tail on it races around the house and I chase it the whole time!!!
The sweater is Extra Lite Bright knit in just one color. I may make another that is a fade with the new yarn that just came in. That will be fun, right?
What do I want to make with the heavier weight yarn (DK) that just came? I’m thinking that I need an Alchemist Pullover in my life!
That jade plant that I brought in is at least 10 years old. Has it bloomed yet? No, no it has not!
I’ve been steadily losing weight for the last few months (It is a scleroderma thing) and I finally broke down and bought some new clothes. Yay! They fit great and I’m happy with the new colors.
The supermoon has been slowly building over the last few evenings. Enormous and bright, I have been watching it slowly grow in fullness all week. I’ve been looking forward to watching this moon, the Harvest Supermoon of 2025, rise this evening, but of course it is raining and cold. I know, even though I can’t see it, that the moon is there, just out of my sight.
Tonight’s moon pretty much matches my mood this evening. There is this beautiful shining thing, just out of sight, but just knowing it is there, I am buoyed up and happy. I’ve been thinking about recuerdos and glimmers all day as I cleaned out boxes of things connected to my sister and son: bits and pieces of things that they valued and were stored, or sent, to me over the years. Nestled among the junk and ancient clothing there are objects that instantly transport me to another place and time: recuerdos.
Those two big tubs are full of my sister’s fabric stash. And unfinished projects and quilts… things that she loved and had plans for.
My mom was raised in Argentina during her teens and early twenties, and she was bilingual and somewhat multi-cultural in her approach to life. Every important trip or event required a recuerdo to help capture and preserve the memory of the event; she would insist that we select and keep something. Recuerdos are like souvenirs, or memories, but richer and more transformative, returning you to an important experience. That’s what I’ve been finding as I go through the boxes: pictures, trophies, knitted items, old quilts, a college diploma, stuffed animals, and marching shoes. Every single item rich with memories, returning me to the time when I visited a national park with my sister, or watched my son from the bleachers in a fencing tournament at the US Air Force Academy. Like tonight’s supermoon, something great and shining is right there with me, out of sight, but real all the same, and I am happy.
I found three unfinished quilts in the tubs. All the fabrics bundled together, a lot of the cutting already done, everything organized to create the quilts that she dreamed of. I was instantly transported to her favorite fabric store in San Diego, picking out fabrics with her on a beautiful summer afternoon.
Grief is a difficult thing to deal with, but I’ve learned some lessons over the years as the universe kept shoveling bad news in my direction. It helps to write. It is important to acknowledge what has happened, and to allow your support groups to… well… support you! Honor the good in the people (or life) that has been lost. Focus on what you can do, not what is no longer possible. Make sure you are getting enough to eat; remember to rest. Reconnect with your friends, and get out of the house. Create purpose and beauty from the loss whenever possible.
What to do with all of this… stuff… in the crates?
My sister loved autumn colors. Orange, yellow, greens, and browns. I found almost 20 skeins of ORANGE yarn in the crates, and as luck would have it, Halloween and Thanksgiving are right around the corner. All of that yarn is going to be transformed into chemo hats. I’ve been making 2 a day and hope to get them all to an infusion center by the middle of the month. Can you feel the glimmer? I’m looking forward to driving them to a Kaiser infusion center up north next week through the fall foliage; maybe there will still be some sunflowers in the fields. Glimmer.
Then there is the fabric. Oh, boy. There is a lot of fabric there! I’ve been sorting through it and pulling out nice colors to make into zipper pouches (filled with hygiene products) for the DART program at Denver Health.
Wouldn’t you like a pouch like this?
This week there was an article in the local news about an organization that provides comfort quilts to trauma survivors. They take in donated fabric and unfinished quilts: what a great place for my sister’s unfinished quilts to go!! I’ve been sorting my own fabric along with my sister’s to get the donation ready, and I plan to drive it up to the organization next week. Can’t you just feel the shine of the supermoon just out of sight? It’s like there is a glimmer hiding right behind my shoulder, raising my spirits and centering me again.
So, this is life. I’m pulling myself back together while surrounded by items that my sister gifted me through the years, sorting the fabrics, yarn, and projects that she once had big plans for, reliving our time together, and taking her dreams into the future with me while mindfully watching for the glimmers of peace and joy that are there for us.
Shine on, Harvest Supermoon. Shine on.
P.S.
These are my son’s cats: Jonesy, Gabriel and Liam.
I was able to successfully rehome my son’s three cats all together two weeks ago. This week, as I worried about how they were doing, I followed the story of Francine’s loss and the resulting successful rescue operation. Yesterday when I heard that Francine had been returned to her home, a Lowe’s store where she is the resident cat, I heard from the new owner of my son’s cats; they were out, sleeping on her bed, and chomping tuna. Glimmer time!!
The last day that I watered my garden was the first week of August. The days were hot and dry, and most of the flowers in my gardens were gone, but the yarrow, lavender and sage were shining in the early morning sun. “I should write a blog about the garden,” I thought to myself. Sitting on the swinging chair on my catio, drinking my morning latte, I took a picture of Hannah and a lavender plant to send to my son David.
The picture failed to deliver. The phone told me that he was offline.
I wouldn’t know it for a couple of more days, but my wonderful son, one of the best parts of my life, had died of complications of his type 1 diabetes. His loss has left a gaping hole in all of our lives.
That evening of the day that I found him, I took a bad fall while taking out some bags of trash from his apartment. Yep. I ended up in the emergency room.
Luckily I didn’t break anything, but I certainly was bashed up and I’m still recovering from the injuries. While in the emergency room I also picked up another gift:
There it is, my very first positive test for covid. I can hardly believe it happened. I was pretty sick the first week, and then the virus lingered on for two more weeks before I finally tested negative in the beginning of the fourth week.
Through all of this I have been pretty dysfunctional. I haven’t been able to read, or knit, or work outside in the garden. The grass has died, and the flowers are now all gone. I found myself unable to blog because I didn’t have any idea how I could tell this sad story, but I also realized that I can’t return to blogging without acknowledging what has happened. Today I am doing that.
This week I began to return to life. I picked up the knitting again. I sewed some zipped pouches to donate to my community action group: they will be filled with hygiene products and given to people in need through a program at a local hospital. I started collecting pictures for my son’s online memorial, and eventually I will return to writing my blog again. I’ve been contacted by some people who were worried about me, and I am sorry about that. Hopefully, soon, I will be posting again.
Here she is, the emotional support chicken that I knit for my son out of homespun yarns and red purchased alpaca yarn. I found her in tatters on his living room floor, all of the red yarn eaten by insects. Kind of fitting: broken heart, broken chicken.
I considered calling this post Loss, Grief, and Sorrow.
Forever more, that is how I will remember yarrow, lavender, and sage.
Yarn, Books & Roses 