Yarn, Books & Roses

The Scleroderma Chronicles: Thoughts on the Night of the Blue Supermoon…

Did you look at the moon tonight? It is just huge, shining in the night like it knows that it is something special. Well, it is. This is the Blue Supermoon of 2023, my friends. Not to be seen again for 14 years. Just the sight of it makes me feel happy.

This is also the anniversary of the day that I was told that I had systemic sclerosis and Sjogren’s Disease. Actually, it is 9 years and one day since I drove to my first rheumatologist appointment; I was a little emotional that morning as I passed fields of beautiful sunflowers, their faces glowing in the light of the morning sun rising behind me. You’d think that the date would be kind of a bummer, but nope. As it turns out, there are lots of things that are making me feel happy at the moment.

Do you see that black bag with my purse and cane? That is my portable oxygen concentrator!

That’s right, after languishing for 18 months on the waiting list, my name came up for the portable oxygen concentrator that I have been desperately needing. Look at that baby!!! It only weighs 5 pounds, it works great, I can adjust the level of flow on the fly, it can charge in the car, and it is exactly what I need. Yay!!! I got it yesterday on the exact 9-year anniversary of my diagnosis.

So happy, feeling absolutely empowered, I headed to the yarn store after picking up the concentrator. Time to take this baby for a spin, right? I have been struggling for months to make a decision about the yarn for the La Prairie cardigan that I want to knit next. I bought a kit of yarn to make the cardigan, but I’m not happy with it. I needed a new skein to go into the mix…

The yarn picture on the left is the original kit. The one on the right is the new variation that I’m not completely happy with. Feeling hopeful and more than a little determined, I sat on the floor in front of the most likely candidate yarns and, rocking my new O2 concentrator, holding up my phone with the yarns on the screen, I kept looking at different ideas for the fade…

Winner, winner, chicken dinner! I suddenly realized that the Stitch Together yarn (second from the top) was exactly what I was looking for. There it is. I asked others in the store what they thought, and the consensus was that I had nailed down my fade. Yay!!! Finding that yarn made me happy.

So, I also bought the special edition Babe set from Spun Right Round.

I’m going to make that Barbie pink yarn into hats for the community knitting group that I knit for because… wait for it… the color makes me happy!! I had one of the original Barbie dolls, and just the thought of Barbie makes me… happy!

On the way home from the yarn store, still sucking down oxygen in the car and feeling pretty good, I stopped at the grocery store to buy some tiramisu because I was absolutely having a tiramisu kind of day, and there at the front of the store were sunflowers. You know, it is the end of August, and it is sunflower time. Shine like a sunflower!!

Pretty good looking, huh. Sunflowers are used as a symbol of scleroderma hope in some parts of the world (Hello, Australia! Talking to you!), and you know I bought these too.

By the time I got home I was tallying up all of the things that made me happy. The leaves are starting to change on the trees in town, and the ornamental grasses are covered with rich golden plumes atop bright green stems. That makes me happy. Pumpkin spice is back at Starbucks. The kittens loved the new toys that I bought them. I ordered new clothes this week that fit great even though they are a smaller size than usual. I found new shoes to wear that are really helping a lot. Happy. I am happy.

The shoes are shaped like walking boots on the bottom, but inside there is great arch support and a cushy insole. I am walking now with much less pain. Did you notice the purple detailing and the silver loops for the laces? Happy. These are happy shoes.

Once home, I headed outside to the catio with my yarn, the tiramisu, and a cup of coffee from my new Keurig machine (yep… happy), and as I set the plate and coffee cup on the table, a pair of adult cottontail rabbits raced around the corner of the deck and zoomed under my side gate. Looks like I will be having baby bunnies again. I am happy.

Nine years ago, I asked that first rheumatologist what my life would be like in five years time. He refused to answer, and it was my first clue that I might be in some trouble here. 18 months ago, my pulmonologist told me it was okay to cry when the first lung scans showed serious interstitial lung disease. One year ago, my pulmonologist told me that they were very worried about me after my lung biopsy… nothing was working, and he wasn’t sure I’d make it. Last month, the technician who did my latest pulmonary function test told me that I was too bad to walk any longer without portable oxygen. I came home, looked at the bottles that are too heavy for me to carry, and cried.

Tonight, under the blue supermoon, with sunflowers on my table, I am happy. One month later, I have my portable oxygen. 18 months later, my lung disease appears to be stable. 9 years later, I’m still here, rolling with the punches of new complications, facing down the monster, and finding ways to shine.

I am happy.

Shine on supermoon, shine on.

Hannah and the CoalBear: Kitten Invasion and Finished Socks

Hi. I’m Hannah.

I’ve been hanging out on the catio as much as I can these days.

The Mother of Cats has been really busy reading books and knitting lately, and she likes to go out on the catio so that is perfect for us. Mateo loves the grasshoppers, and I am a huge fan of the butterflies. The last couple of weeks have been just perfect until about a week ago when the Mother of Cats went off to her son’s for the night, and then they both came back over here with ALL OF HIS CATS!!!!!

Mateo vanished into the closet. Thanks for the backup, buddy. What a baby, right? We were pretty safe because the Mother of Cats put up a barrier at the top of the stairs to keep us safe, which was a good thing because those invading cats took over the whole house!!

Yep. Those kitties got the entire downstairs and THE CATIO while the Mother of Cats stayed upstairs mostly with us and knitted away on her new socks. It wasn’t all that bad, except for the little Siamese kitten who would run up the stairs and try to whap us through the gate every time he saw us. The Mother of Cats said that he was just trying to play, but it is kind of rude, whapping, don’t you think? Mateo certainly thought so!!

Anyway, lets get back to the knitting. Check out the finished socks.

The Mother of Cats is really happy with how the socks turned out. Let’s look at some of the details:

Do you see how thick and cushy the knitted fabric looks on the inside? This is one comfy sock! Look at how nice the afterthought heel is, and how about how the flowers pop out from the background on the outside of the sock? Seriously, this sock is nice! Even Mateo thinks so. (No, Mateo. You don’t get a knitted bunny made in this pattern…)

Back to the invading cats; look at how they acted on the catio!

Yep, that is one of our toys in the paws of THE MONSTER. The Mother of Cats had to move several of the plants, and the invaders even got to eat some of OUR TUNA!!!! They practically destroyed the downstairs cat tree, and whoo-boy, was there ever commotion going on down there every night! I think that a fly got into the house, and to be frank, that little Siamese kitten can practically fly… Just when I thought that the accumulating outrages would never end, the Mother of Cats left us Thursday night and drove to the airport to get her son back. Whew! As soon as he got back the Monster perked up and the kittens calmed down. Mateo even went through the barrier to play with everyone on the catio, but I stayed safely on my side of the gate. The next day all those furry invaders went home to their own catio and Mateo and I returned to bunnyland.

Today the Mother of Cats is back to knitting on her sweater, and before you know it she will have it done and we’ll be hunting for more yarn to play with. Life is good.

This is Hannah, signing off.

Notes from the Mother of Cats:

The socks are the Pressed Flower Socks by Amy Cristoffers.
The sweater that I’m working on is Alpine Bloom by Caitlin Hunter. I’m getting really close to finishing up the body of the sweater.
My son was working at a convention for his company. That’s him on the right, talking to a customer/attendee. Oh, you can’t see him? Well, you get the idea: stand for hours and talk to conference attendees in a dimly lit and high tech environment.

Hannah and the CoalBear: Black cats rock and we have a new sock!

Hi. I’m Mateo.

Do you see how beautiful I am? This is how I looked when I was a year old.

This is how I looked in the kitten room when the Mother of Cats first saw me.

Didn’t I turn out nice? I was the sweetest kitten in the room, and I was very brave and friendly when the Mother of Cats first met me. The Mother of Cats absolutely did not want to get ANOTHER black cat on that afternoon (she kind of wanted a buff-colored kitten…), but I was so insistent that she really, really needed me that she finally filled out the paperwork and brought me home.

and before you knew it, Hannah and I were best friends!!

Today is National Black Cat Appreciation Day, and there is a day like this because sometimes people think black cats are unlucky and they get left in the shelter and don’t get a home like they should. That is just crazy, right? Look at how cute I am!! The Mother of Cats keeps telling me how good I am, and I AM! I’m a GOOD BOY, and every day, I get lots of attention and tuna because I absolutely deserve it. Also, I am really good at catching bugs, which makes everyone happy around here.

Okay, onto the sock that we have been helping the Mother of Cats get knitted this week.

The Mother of Cats can be kind of lazy when the weather is hot, so this is the sock without the ends woven in or the hole at the heel closed. Just ignore that stuff… isn’t it cute!! The sock has some extra ends that need to be woven in because Hannah kind of went wild and chomped the yarn into pieces twice, but the Mother of Cats still gave her tuna. I’m pretty sure that I should have gotten all of the tuna, but for some reason the Mother of Cats just lets Hannah get away with EVERYTHING when I have to get my claws trimmed all the time, and Hannah never does.

Oh, never mind about all of that. I was supposed to tell you that the socks are the Pressed Flowers Socks and that they fit really, really well with lots of stretch. Hey, I like that pattern and maybe it can also become a little knitted bunny for me to play with? I always can use a new toy and I just LOVE BUNNIES!! (Note from MoC: Mateo, you love to eat bunnies. No. No knitted bunny!)

Fine. I’ll just (sigh) play with the old toys that I already have.

This is Mateo, AKA the CoalBear, signing off.

Hannah: Don’t forget that tomorrow is Caturday!! Also, I’m kind of a black cat, too, so I should be getting extra tuna for sure!

Hannah and the CoalBear: Trail? What Trail?

Hi. I’m Hannah.

This has been a kind of strange week. The Mother of Cats came home on Monday after spending ANOTHER WEEKEND WITH THOSE KITTENS!!! and then she tried to make it up to us by being really nice all week. She fed us tuna twice a day and played with Mateo with the laser light more than usual. Like that would make up for sneaking off to spend time with these furry little guys instead of US.

Okay, they are kind of cute. Still, they aren’t as cute as Mateo and I were at the same age. Just saying…

Anyway, back to the strange week. The children in the neighborhood all went back to school (whatever that it…) this week and it suddenly is quieter in the backyard. A huge flock of geese flew over the yard yesterday, and today the Mother of Cats noticed that some of the berries on the bushes are turning red. The squirrel is more active than usual, and the moon was out in the daytime. Crazy, right? Here are the pictures.

The Mother of Cats is also excited about something called Pumpkin Spice. Is that a type of tuna?

Anyway, let’s now discuss the Mother of Cats and her COMPLETE ABANDONMENT of the Sharon on the Trail MKAL. She didn’t even bother to open up the emails with the pattern updates. She says that she hates her yarns, and she doesn’t love the pattern, and she just wants to knit the stuff she already has and to make some little knitted kitties to give away. I’d be concerned about her, but she is really happy with the stuff that she is knitting now, and I have to admit that it is looking good.

She put her sweater back onto the needles this week and got several inches of the body knitted. Looking good! She says that the funky looking new stitches are that way because they aren’t blocked yet. Mateo isn’t convinced.

Mateo: I’ll reserve judgement until I see that new knitting blocked. Call me Doubting Mateo.

She really spent some time on the new socks that she is making, and she really likes the way they are coming out. I think that has something to do with how she just UP AND ABANDONED Sharon from Security in her quest to apprehend that villainous Keith…

She likes these socks so much she is already dreaming of which yarns she will use to knit the next pair with. Poor Sharon, I’m pretty sure that the Mother of Cats will never return to the trail. She has her eye on some purple yarns for the next pair of socks…

Well, that is it. I hope that you all had a wonderful Caturday.

This is Hannah, signing off.

Notes from the Mother of Cats:

The sweater is Alpine Bloom by Caitlin Hunter.
The socks are Pressed Flowers Socks by Amy Cristoffers.
The abandoned MKAL is Sharon on the Trail by Casapinka. I have decided to wait for the finished shawl before I put any more knitting time into it.
The weather has been playing hell with my breathing. A couple of lows tracked right over the state and in the low pressure I don’t do well at all.

Do you see the low? That’s the place where all the wind arrows are swirling together just east of me in the state (I’m located just east of Denver). Fun and games for people with lung/heart conditions!

Behold Hannah and Mateo as kittens… they were pretty cute!

Hannah and the CoalBear: and she’s already fallen off the trail…

Hi. I’m Hannah.

Hannah: I bet you wished that you had a catio…

In my last report I shared how the Mother of Cats left us for the weekend to go play with her son’s kittens. Hello! We’re kittens too, right?! Well, in our hearts we are. The Mother of Cats says that I’m getting chunky and that I’m hard to pick up now… what is up with that?! If she would let me bring grasshoppers into the house so I could chase them without burning my little feet on the hot deck I’m sure I would slim right down, but does she let me have any fun? Nope. Not so much…

Anyway, the Mother of Cats finished up her first clue of the Sharon on the Trail MKAL shawl and then put it away to wait for the next clue.

I gave it a little grooming before she put it away, and we both thought that it was pretty cute. Then the second clue dropped last week and the Mother saw what it looked like knitted up… and immediately decided that she didn’t want to use these yarns anymore. She never took the shawl out again all week and just worked on her new sweater.

Okay, I have to admit that it is looking pretty darn good, right?

She steam blocked the part that was knitted in the sweater (it is called Alpine Bloom) and while it was drying she hunted and hunted for new yarns to knit the Sharon on the Trail again.

What do you guys think of these yarns? She’s still thinking of using gold instead of that mauve color…

I personally don’t care because it is really darn hot here and we spend every afternoon just waiting it out. The Mother of Cats reads books and I just sleep in any coolish spot that I can find. My favorite spot right now is on the paper from the Chewy box in front of a fan.

Do you see where I had a rash on my tummy? I had another bath (YUK!!!) and now the fur is growing back.

Anyway, once the Mother of Cats had located her new yarns for the MKAL you’d think that she would have cast on and gotten busy knitting, right? Nope. You would be wrong. She saw a sock pattern and went crazy casting on to start them. Then she got an email from her community knitting buddies that made her knit some more PICC line covers and start hunting for yarns to knit little toys and hats. SHE IS COMPLETELY OUT OF CONTROL!!! Like, she is worse than Mateo at the moment.

Here’s the start of the socks. These will be Pressed Flowers Socks after a whole bunch of time the way she is going.

So, I’m just kind of going with the flow and hoping to get some tuna soon while she is ignoring the shawl, pretending that it is TOO HARD to put that blocked sweater back onto the needles, and saying things like… why should she knit socks when it would be more fun to make some toys (hearts and little mice and maybe some tiny kitties…) to go to with the PICC line covers in a couple of weeks when the next Frayed Knots meeting happens.

Sigh. She should make me some knitted mice!

Mateo: don’t forget that tomorrow is Caturday!

That’s all for now. I’m going to go find another cool spot to sleep in…

This is Hannah, sighing off.

Notes from the Mother of Cats: I’ve been reading like crazy because several books arrived in my library account all at once. Yay!

I’ve been reading All the Sinners Bleed as an audiobook while driving around in the car. The main character is still dealing with the trauma of his mother’s death from… (wait for it) …scleroderma!! I heard that part of the book while driving back from my rheumatology appointment this week. Crazy. In the book the mother suffered from extreme muscle pain, and I had just finished talking with my doctor about increasing my immunosuppressant dose because of my continuing muscle/tendon pain.
I also raced through Killers of the Flower Moon recently. What a great book!!! It’s about a cluster of abuses and murders linked to conspiracies to steal the oil generated wealth of Osage Nation members in Oklahoma. The center of the Osage territory is located in Pawhuska, Oklahoma, a place I’ve been to since I have family located there. While flipping through all the footnotes in the book an interview with the author, David Grann, came on the television. How crazy is all of this!! He has written a new book called The Wager that I already have a library hold on.
I continue to be stalked by synchronicity, obviously.
The community knitting/crocheting group that I knit for has been expanding. We now are donating to other medical centers that have requested sewn PICC line pads for seatbelts in cars, heavy winter hats for homeless shelters, and now we are partnering with the Denver STAR program that provides emergency (non-police) responses to people in mental health crisis, or who are homeless, or any emergency that is not violent or criminal in nature. They need blankets, amigurumi, health items, and hats. Lots of knitting (and crocheting and sewing) needs to be done!
Do you see why I just fell off the trail? For something like this I might even try to crochet some little amigurumi.
Now I’m reading The Covenant of Water. Holy smokes, this is looking to be another really good book! Do you see why the knitting has stalled?
Hannah: Get off the computer, Mother of Cats, and get me come tuna!!! Also, a knitted mouse would be nice…

Hannah and the CoalBear: I’m Hitting the Trail!

Hi. I’m Hannah.

I’m hanging out on the catio before it gets too hot.

Did you notice that yesterday was Caturday? I had to stay in the house all day long because the Mother of Cats drove off and left us all alone for the weekend. She has been a little crazy lately, that Mother of Cats… She decided at the last minute to do the Sharon on the Trail MKAL and dug around in her stash to find some yarns. Okay, it was like a yarn explosion, but that is fun, right?

Has she finished her Alpine Bloom sweater yet? No, she has not!!

So she left us and went to her son’s house for the weekend because… he has new kittens!!! How could she leave us? Why did she ever think that she could knit while she was around KITTENS!!! She needs to come home right away!!

She did take out her yarns for a picture showing the order that she wants to knit them, but that is as far as she was able to get because…kittens!

So, the Mother of Cats hasn’t gotten any knitting done at all, which means that she is behind everyone else in the MKAL. Sharon from Security (Casapinka’s employee who needs a raise!) is in France hunting down Keith the Hiker who has (probably) stolen a mysterious paper wrapped object, stuffed it in his backback, and is currently on the trail with Sharon hot on his tail. The Mother of Cats needs to come home today so she can get some knitting down and we can get some COOKIES!!!

You know, I don’t think that the Mother of Cats can do much hiking, so I told Mateo that he is going to have to hit the trails with me if we’re going to help Sharon get that mysterious package back. France. We can do France.

I’m getting some rest so I’m ready to go!!

I hope that you all had a great Caturday, and that you weren’t abandoned and left all alone in a hot house with a crazy Mateo…

This is Hannah, signing off.

Notes from the Mother of Cats:

My son lost his beautiful cat Maya (who controlled the weather) and his remaining cat has been sad since then. Today Jonesy is looking happier than he has in months. Okay, maybe he’s still a little stressed, but that’s life with kittens for you…
The kittens are a Siamese mix and a classic tabby. So cute!
The yarns for the MKAL are from Indie dyers across the US: Texas, Colorado, Montana, and New York. How fun is that?

The Scleroderma Chronicles: Bioethical Dilemmas and Unintended Consequences

I was a biology teacher in the time of the Human Genome Project. This week, with the coming release of the newest movie about Oppenheimer and the development of the atomic bomb, I’ve been thinking about the DNA and genes again (I know, it is a biogeek thing…), because one of the candidates running for the Republican nomination in the US wants to cut the Department of Energy if elected.

Kind of a loose chain of threads, you’re probably thinking. Am I right? Well… the Department of Energy is the agency that is responsible for the regulation of the nuclear energy industry in the US. There’s a lot of waste coming out of those nuclear reactors, and there was some concern about how much mutational damage was being done to DNA through exposure to radiation. Well, to figure that out, you need to know what undamaged DNA looks like. The initial drive to figure out what the human genome looks like came from that agency and once the results came in early this century the world completely changed. Like a big change. Like an atomic bomb level change. Like, there are now sites that have huge depositories of biotechnical data and tools to aid in research.

In the classroom we biology teachers began to teach about the Human Genome Project and also did a week-long unit around the ethical problems associated with this new knowledge (bioethics, if you will). The kids grappled with dilemmas like… if you had the gene for a fatal, untreatable illness, would you want to know? If you were a child at risk for this gene, would it be okay for your parents to have you tested for it before you are 18? If your unborn child tested positive for this condition, what would you do? Would it be okay for human organs to be grown for transplantation? Who should get the transplant… a single father of 4, or a 16-year-old student in your high school? Should your employer allow you to continue in your airline pilot job if a genetic test shows you are high risk for a sudden cardiac event. Should genetic test results be private? Whew. Lots to grapple with in this unit.

Makes your head hurt, doesn’t it. Check out my knitting progress this week!

So, shit kind of got real this week. One of the members of an online support group for pulmonary arterial hypertension (a progressive and fatal heart/lung condition that I have thanks to systemic sclerosis) has just been identified with a gene (bpmr2) that causes the condition; her PAH is caused by this gene and can be inherited; she has a different type from me, but it is still PAH. Oh, boy. This is not good at all. The life expectancy right now is up to about 7 years, but you only need one copy of the gene to be at risk for PAH… there is a 50% chance for each of her children that they inherited the gene. Only 20% of people with the gene will develop PAH, but that is still a big risk.

Should she tell her two children? she is asking in the forum. They are in their late 20s. If she does, and they get tested, should they have their own children if they have the gene? Her heart is broken, literally.

Life expectancy has greatly improved over the last few years with new medications being generated in the modern climate of expanding cellular and molecular biological information. Untreated PAH (and PH kind of gets lumped together with it according to my pulmonologist…) has a life expectancy of about 2.8 years… not good.

Rose break! By the end of the discussion thread, she was leaning towards telling the kids.

Which brings me to the next shitty bioethical item that occurred this week. One of the members of another support group caught Covid and had to go off her drugs while fighting the virus. She has been slow to recover, and still feels pretty bad, but she took a pregnancy test and restarted her medications again a few weeks ago, only to discover this week that she is actually 12 weeks pregnant. Why did she have to take a pregnancy test before restarting her drugs? Because some of the drugs used to treat PAH can cause extreme damage to a human fetus. The enrollment process is very strict, and every effort is made to keep patients from this situation.

I am in grief for this woman. The doctors think that the baby has been spared the worst of the drug toxicity, but now she is working her way through whether to abort or not, to restart her drugs, or not. To risk death to save the baby, or to abort and restart treatment. If the baby is born in good health, will she live long enough to see it enter kindergarten. If the baby is born with health problems, her medical burden is increased. She is young. This is a horrible mess, and she is already too far along to get an abortion in many states in the US. I don’t know if she has other children, or what her support structure is…

This week I heard that some states are demanding private health records to identify any out-of-state abortions or transgender care that has happened in another state. I hope that this woman lives in another country…

Then I heard that a popular hamburger joint near my home is now going to fire employees who wear a mask. Say, WHAT?! Let me tell you, any person who has a serious lung/heart condition like mine wants to wear a mask, and they are so grateful if the person at the service window is also wearing a mask. Sometimes people offer to put on a mask when they see that I am wearing one. Now that person can be fired for putting on a mask… remember the young PAH patient whose nightmare began with catching Covid? Truthfully, any random virus can cause serious damage to patients with PAH, especially if they are also immunosuppressed.

So, there are a lot of bioethical dilemmas here, and the unintended consequences of people who want to make sweeping decisions without understanding all the interlocking systems involved and the potential ramifications are staggering. NO, you can’t just disband the Department of Energy, and sweeping, inflexible decisions about reproductive issues (that seem to be smugly self-righteous to me) can be disastrous. It is easy to order up genetic tests, but what happens once you have the information can be life-altering.

And don’t get me started on this animosity towards mask wearing…

I can’t help but think that no one should attempt to enact legislation without ~~suffering through~~ experiencing something like the bioethics unit that was taught at the high school where I used to work. I keep wondering, do these legislators actually understand nuclear power and weapons? Have they heard of the Human Genome Project? About gene testing? About rare diseases? They absolutely need to go see the Oppenheimer movie, maybe, and then write me a report about the Human Genome Project. I’m pretty sure that they would struggle with epigenetics, but it would do them good if they looked into it. They can get extra credit for a summary of pulmonary arterial hypertension. I would like to give them a book list of summer reading to get through on their breaks, because only the well-informed and educated should attempt to make decisions about these issues in the seven levels of bioethical hell that is the life of patients like me.

Because this week was a really hard one; for too many people this shit is real.

PS: Have you seen the show House? I kind of think that he could use a little bioethics sensitivity training, too.

Now there are 38…

Bright sunny days are upon us, and the yard is filled with the call of blue jays. Okay, these guys are really noisy, and there are a lot more than usual this year, so the robins seem to be keeping a low profile. All of my plants are growing like crazy in the heat and the gardens are starting to look really good.

The cats are spending lots of time out on the catio.

I’ve discovered that the weeds are also growing like… weeds, so I have been spending an hour every day in the cool of the evening working in the gardens trying to keep ahead of the weed invasion.

There is a lot of pink going on in the garden right now. The Princess Alexandra of Kent rose is stilling going strong, the pink yarrow burst into bloom, and the snapdragons that are now blooming again are… just the pink ones! Of course, the angelica has joined in, and I must admit that the pink does make me feel good.

Even my knitting has pink blooms! This is the Alpine Bloom sweater by Caitlin Hunter.

So, I was thinking that maybe I should get some red when I took a trip to my local garden center this week. Woohoo! Roses WERE ON SALE at 30% off!!! It didn’t take long to locate a landscape shrub rose that had beautiful cabbage rose-ish blooms.

This is the Grand Champion Red rose. I bought two of them.

I thought that it would do well with the Ruby Meidiland roses along the back of my house.

The Rubies have been doing really well this year, but the shrubs didn’t fill in along the back of the house the way I thought they would, so there is room to put another rose between plantings.

See, the new rose will fit right in there!

Now I have to do more weeding (duh!), get the new roses into the ground, and then I plan to put a nice organic mulch around everyone.

So now there are 38 roses!

PS: Bea made this comment… “Mateo is wearing his don’t-mess-with-me face. He looks ready to rumble or hop on his Harley and hightail it for Sturgis.”

He kind of does, doesn’t he. I offer in his defense this picture of how he collapsed and fell asleep on the bookshelf last night…

The tough guy photo was taken right after I woke him up. It seems that he wakes up cranky…

The Scleroderma Chronicles: Be a Rose.

So, I got a little testy in one of my Facebook support groups for systemic sclerosis this morning. A member of the group kind of disparaged me and another person for not being positive enough. It was “you need to refuse to let scleroderma define you” in response to the first person sadly saying that she missed her old life, and me giving her an online hug with the comment that if only a positive attitude was enough…

In my defense I had just experienced a Kaiser employee visibly reacting to my lack of wrinkles. As in, wow, that’s great! Like not having wrinkles makes this all worth it.

I lost another 4 pounds at my last check-in, which is concerning, but the nurse was thrilled for me. Me, I was a little teary at the continued loss.

Um, people… do you think that you might be a little shallow here?

I was out on the deck/catio with the cats drinking my morning latte when I hit this emotional wall, and after I had fired off the somewhat testy response, I spent some time in the garden. There were my roses, blooming like the utter champs that they are.

This is my Princess Alexandra of Kent rose.

This rose is looking great this year. Never before has the plant been able to hold up the blooms without the weight pulling the stems over. The problem is our semi-arid climate with hard winters; the plant grows back from the roots every year and it doesn’t have time to put in enough supportive tissue to hold up the blooms. This year, with all the rain and cool weather that we have had, the plant was able to put in enough of this tissue to do the job. The tissue that I’m talking about, a type of ground tissue, is called sclerenchyma. If you’re ever snapped a celery stalk in half and pulled out the strings, you were pulling out sclerenchyma tissue. This tissue is made of dry, hardened cells in the stem of the rose and I suspect that the “scler” part of the word is of the same origin as scleroderma. Look at that. The hardened cells are doing something good for this rose!

In me, not so much. Things have been a little difficult as my poor heart and lungs are not benefiting from the hardening and thickening going on in the cells and tissues of those organs. All of my tendons are seriously pissed off at the moment. Edema has become a problem, and it is becoming increasing clear that I need to stay on oxygen 24/7.

That’s my arm with the imprint of a quilt in it, in case you didn’t immediately recognize it… Edema is kind of a tip off that my heart is struggling and that’s new. The weight loss is also related to my heart/lungs because if oxygen isn’t getting down to my cells like it should, they can’t use energy efficiently, and then, you know, weight loss occurs. The tendon issue is scleroderma actively attacking them and gradually hardening them to bone. Bad scleroderma, bad!!

So, what did I say in my testy response? Reality bites. Some of us have progressed to the point where we have to admit that no amount of positive thinking will allow us to attend that family function that we were invited to, or to visit the annual Wool Market in the mountains, or to even walk to the mailbox. To suggest that we could do things if we just had a more positive attitude is hurtful and not supportive. No matter how much you want to believe otherwise, scleroderma does define me and everyone else who is dealing with it. Courage requires us to face down the monster and to accept the reality of our disease. How we choose to function within that framework is up to us.

I may no longer be as mobile as I once was, and the life that I used to have is now mostly gone, but I choose to continue to bloom in place.

Like a rose.

Updates/Notes from the ScleroFront:

Do you like to wear linen? Those fibers are from the water tubes (xylem) in the flax plant, and made of sclerenchyma.
The bunny-murdering neighbor put her house up for sale!!
My Alpine Bloom sweater is coming right along!

The Soldotna Saga Ends

Yesterday was the Independence Day here in the USA. Fireworks are traditional; my neighborhood goes kind of overboard with the celebrating in that regard. Poor Hannah cowered under the bed and Mateo vanished for the three hours that skyrockets boomed directly overhead and showers of sparks glittered in the night. I finished up all the knitting on the Soldatna Crop, closed the gaps under the sleeves, and then wove in all of the ends. Towards midnight there was a huge thunderstorm that outboomed even the loudest of the skyrockets and I gently misted the sweater and steam blocked it into its final shape.

The Hannah savaged spot is just barely visible, but I am over it.

Do you see it now? The biggest damage is that some of the color has been removed in the fibers that were pulled off in the aggressive grooming Hannah incident. If I move fast, no one will ever notice it and I want to get on with the next knitting project because a new pattern appeared that I want to start right now!! It’s another little sweater by the same designer, Caitlin Hunter, called Alpine Bloom. I downloaded the image of the sweater so you can understand my urgent need: isn’t that the cutest ever? (sweater image is copyright of Caitlin Hunter)

I’m planning right now on doing the colorwork in the hot pink and I may slip in some flower details with the purple. I’ve been looking at other projects online and I actually like the ones that only use one color the best, so I may just stick with the hot pink. Check out the lace at the neckline and the sleeves: cute, cute, cute!! I need to get my needles switched over to this new project right this second, so the Soldotna is now declared done.

In other new, I actually saw a BUNNY in the front yard this week! It is an adult, and it came from across the street to hang out by my tree, but it made me really happy to see it. Stay away from the back yard, little guy!

Finally, how about an update on the roses? They are continuing to flourish and the new blooms are appearing daily. I did a count this week, and I actually have 34 plants right now. Obviously, I need to get another few to take it up to 40, right?

I do have room in the garden because not a single one of the really cute lavender plants that I put out last year came back. A couple of the well established English ones made it, but that was all. I did a little sleuthing on the internet to try to figure out what happened and quickly discovered that the Spanish lavender that I thought was so cute didn’t have a chance.

Yeah, if this plant struggles with temperatures below 10 degrees F, then the -24 degrees F that happened last year absolutely was too cold for it. Actually, it was a problem for most of the garden as I lost the part of the rose plants that were above the ground, but thankfully they all grew back from the roots okay in the spring and it really did help that we had a lot of rain.

Lesson learned.

More roses!!