The Books of August

August wasn’t the best for me. I had just come off a course of steroids to treat my lung disease (there’s another post coming) and I seemed to be struggling with withdrawal. I hurt everywhere. Sleep was difficult. I was sad. I cast on lots of projects and failed to make much progress with any of them because I was struggling with tendonitis. I kept trying different needle sizes and yarn types all month, but nothing worked. Here’s the list:

  • A new sweater, Lace & Fade Boxy by Joji Locatelli. I think that I have a couple of inches done…
  • A standing cat being knit in cool Noro yarn. For some reason I decided that the cat would be outstanding knitted in spring colors (cream/blue/raspberry/green) as a Noro calico cat. Right now, the cat has her front paws and no head yet…
  • A crocheted bag being made in Noro yarn and fancy squares all attached together. I have a lot of squares done, but nothing is attached yet…
  • A new pair of socks. One sock is done…
  • A new pair of mitts. One mitt is done…
  • A PICC line cover that is… half done.
  • My Sharon Air MKAL shawl. That one I am keeping up on because Hannah is keeping me on track.

I did get some sewing done, but mostly I lounged around and read books. Well, I listened to The Murderbot Diaries a couple of more times. I love that series!

This is the first book in the series. I’m anxiously awaiting a new release.

The audiobooks are easy to listen to, the story is easy to follow, and the main character (Murderbot) is so engaging/snarky that you are in its camp from the moment you meet it. Murderbot is a machine/organic construct that specializes in security. A free agent because it has hacked the device that is supposed to control it, it is slowly finding its way to personhood and working out what it wants. It also is continuing to work its old security job while consuming tons of entertainment media. I love Murderbot! It listens to its favorite soap opera-like serial over and over while it deals with anxiety and blocks of down time; I listen to Murderbot over and over while I deal with my own. I smile to myself in moments of self-realization and wish that I could watch The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon along with Murderbot. Murderbot considers its primary client, Doctor Mensa, to be an actual intrepid galactic explorer and I try to be like Doctor Mensa, too. See, a great series of books for sad days.

What a great book!

It’s hard to talk about this book without creating spoilers, but I’m going to try. This is the story of an extreme friendship between two game developers that is actually a love story. It is about betrayal, broken dreams, the creative drive, and the endurance of friendship. I just loved it. Oh yeah, that title comes from MacBeth’s soliloquy about life: “full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” Not the best message for a person who hurts all over and who cried in two different doctors’ offices last month, but still in a strange way comforting.

Then there were these two books:

Have you ever had an urge to do something but didn’t know why? I can totally identify with this as a knitter who is making a standing cat in crazy colors. I also collect empty notebooks to write in, a habit that went on for years before I finally began writing. Then there is the yarn stash… What would happen if you lived in a community where there was the infrastructure to allow you to just follow your dreams?

In these two books we meet a robot (who is the descendant of ancient robots that left the world of humans and went into the wild) and a monk who lives in an environmentally sustainable world with little technology, a world where everyone is accepted for who they are and supported by a barter-driven economy. The robot and monk meet up and begin a pilgrimage through this world together that is compelling and positive; just what I needed for reading material last month. The message that they pursue in their journey is… who am I and what do I want? The final conclusion is one that I could totally identify with… it is enough to just be happy in the moment.

Now it is September and what am I reading?

Umm.. I’m afraid that I have to admit that I have started Murderbot again, but only because I can’t seem to find The Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon on Netflix. I am considering looking into Coronation Street…

By the way, I am through withdrawal and the hurting has stopped. See. Sound and fury, signifying nothing. The knitting is back on!

Time for some Sanctuary Moon… err… Murderbot while I knit.

The BioGeek Memoirs: Swallowtail and Ash

September 1st. I woke up this morning to the sound of geese flying over the house, honking away as they crossed just above the treetops. It is a bright blue day here in Colorado where I live, and the garden and the lawn are recovering after the extreme heat of the last two months. The robins are now gone, and there is just one bunny left in my yard. The fall plants are getting ready to bloom, the first golden leaves are appearing on the locust trees, and the end of summer is upon me.

The stonecrop is starting to bloom, the viburnum berries are turning red, and the last columbine blooms of the season are appearing in the cooler weather.

Monday was an exciting day for the cats as I had the ash tree out front pruned. The tree was damaged in an early heavy snowfall, and I wanted to make sure it was given every opportunity to flourish in the aftermath of losing several limbs.

I love that ash tree! I have it treated for ash borers every year (the emerald ash borer just arrived in my area of Colorado… not good news for ash trees!), and last year I even had it deep watered during the winter to protect it from drought damage. It puts shade onto my house, is an essential component of squirrel route one over the house, and serves as food for one of my favorite butterflies…

Swallowtails! Here they are feeding on my butterfly bush’s blooms.

Swallowtails are big butterflies! They are so big (they don’t hold still long enough for me to measure, but they are like 3-4 inches…) you can sometimes hear them flapping as they head across the yard, darting to and fro as they check out the various blooms in the area. They are much faster and more robust than your usual butterfly, so they are hard to grab a shot of if they don’t settle down onto a flower to snack on some nectar. They love my butterfly bushes, so I planted more last year hoping to lure them to the yard. I also left the stump of an ash tree that I lost a few years ago in the back yard, too.

This is what is left over from my lost ash tree in the back yard.

Okay, I am a geek for sure. I didn’t cut back the suckers from the stump so it would grow into a shrub with enticing ash leaves for swallowtails to lay eggs on. The shrub is also important shade for baby bunnies, but that is another issue. All that lawn damage around the shrub is from the bunnies eating the grass down to the dirt, and then rolling around in the dirt, and then doing a little digging on the side, but… this is a post about butterflies so I will move on.

Bunny: you should just move on… by the way, do you notice how cute I am?

Several times this summer I saw swallowtails in the ash shrub. Yay! The ash tree isn’t food for the butterflies, but rather food for the developing larvae from the eggs that the butterfly lays on the leaves. It is my hope that there were some eggs laid in there that will lead to new swallowtails in the spring next year. I haven’t seen any of the caterpillars, but something has been munching on the leaves…

Quite a few of the leaves show the evidence of an insect snacking on them!

The caterpillars become pupae eventually and then hide themselves away in a sheltered location for the winter, emerging as butterflies in the spring. It is my hope that there are some pupae tucked away in a bunny-proof location near the ground and along the cut-off trunk of the old tree where they will gradually transform into the fabulous flyers of the summer.

The guys who pruned the ash tree out front also removed a struggling maple tree from my back yard. They gave the ash shrub some side eye and offered to take it away too, but I was like… NOOOOOO… I need that for my backyard wildlife…

Did they not notice my butterfly bushes? This backyard is a whole butterfly ecosystem that I have going…

Summer is on the wane, and the swallowtails are gone along with the robins and almost all of my bunnies. Soon the leaves will fall. Asleep, hidden in the debris of summer, the butterflies are secretly transforming and biding their time until May. Sleep well, little guys. I can’t wait to see you next year.

Hannah and the CoalBear: Hannah hops onto the Orient Express

Hi. I’m Hannah.

You will not believe everything that has been happening this week!

First, I caught my flight out of New Zealand on Sharon Air to Paris. Paris!!! Can you believe it? I had a great flight because I got to fly Squeaking Mouse Class this time which meant I had a nice seat to sleep on and I was allowed to bring onboard luggage. I brought my blanket to sleep on, of course! Then we landed at Charles de Gaulle airport in the morning and grabbed the bus that Sharon had arranged for us. I hardly had time to look at the city because I had to do some shopping (Chad dropped his Merican Express Card and Sharon gave it to us because… she really hates that Chad!!) before rushing to Gare de l’Est to board our train to Istanbul.

The Orient Express!! Everything was going just great, and we were having a exceptional dinner when suddenly the lights went out and… when they came back on the fabulous diamond skein of cashmere yarn that this lady with a really loud voice and super bossy attitude was showing to Sharon was gone! Sharon was accused of taking it (well, there was this little bit of red sparkly yarn on her whiskers) and before you knew it, she was locked into her berth and Chad was running (slithering?) across the roof of the train with just the tracks to show that he had been there. Now we have to find The Golden Bag of Cat Treats and this diamond yarn. What a mess. This is going to be hard because I think that Istanbul is a big place and there are a lot of places where a Death Worm named Chad could hide the goods…

That was our week in the Sharon Air MKAL. In the knitting story we ended coming into Istanbul where Sharon was going to go into the slammer while her security contacts worked behind the scenes to get her released, and in the real-world Sharon was thrown into Facebook jail for an entire month which basically is for the rest of the MKAL. What unbelievable Egregious Bullshittery (EB for short) that is!! The Mother of Cats has been wondering how to report EB to Facebook when she hasn’t been knitting.

I’ve been closely overseeing her work.

This week the clue took a turn that we didn’t see coming. The shawl had been a growing “V” shape, but this week the clue said to only knit on one side of the “V” so that is what the Mother of Cats did. Look at what is happening now:

One side (the left) is now bigger, and the other side is just hanging out on some yarn holding the stitches for the Mother of Cats.
This is what the new stitches on that side look like.

So now we are done with the third clue and the Mother of Cats is just sady knitting away on a pair of socks while we wait for the new clue to arrive on Friday. Poor Sharon. Will she get out of the slammer? Will she get her flamethrower back? Do they have nice sushi for cats in Istanbul? I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Stay tuned! I can’t wait to see where we go next week!

This is Hannah, signing off.

Hannah and the CoalBear: Hannah heads to New Zealand on Sharon Air

Hi. I’m Hannah.

I got into my Blueberry box really early Friday morning while I was waiting for the next clue in the Sharon Air MKAL.

I was so excited while I was waiting for the clue 2 to arrive so I could know where we were heading next to catch Chad the Mongolian Death Worm who had stolen the priceless Golden Bag of CAT TREATS. He had been last seen in Cairo wearing a parka, so I knew that I was catching a flight to somewhere cold, but I never expected that I would he heading to… New Zealand. Oh. It’s winter there. The other thing that I didn’t expect was that I would be flying…

Litter Class!!!

Yeah. Litter Class is like coach in people airplanes. It’s towards the back part of the plane and all of the litter boxes are there at the back of the section. You don’t get a nice chair, or a cardboard box, or a blanket, or anything to sit on.

I really like blankets, but they wouldn’t let me use mine on the plane. I didn’t want to make a scene because it you act like an Eejit on the plane you get a parachute and get escorted to one of the exits… Sharon really doesn’t tolerate any in-flight nonsense!!

You are assigned your own spot on the floor and have to stay there. You need sharp claws because you need to dig in really, really hard during the takeoffs and landings or you’ll slide into some other cat’s territory, and you know how that is going to end up. Personally, I don’t like inter-cat conflict all that much, so I really used my claws! We did get a nice Fancy Feast meal and there was an interesting bird movie, but I was so glad when we landed in Auckland… only, our flight continued on to New Plymouth because we had to go to Mt. Taranaki because that’s where that annoying beyond belief Death Worm (named Chad) slithered off to with the CAT TREATS!! What a beautiful mountain! Why did he take the treats there, and what am I going to do to get my paws warm again!!! I hate cold!

Seriously, I spent the weekend working on the shawl with the Mother of Cats.
Here’s Clue 2 all knitted up! The Mother of Cats made almost no mistakes because I gave her lots and lots of support.

The Mother of Cats also took nice breaks to give me kitty cookies (I don’t work for free!! Seriously, what were you thinking of?), and even with the breaks we were done by the end of Monday.

Sigh. Now we have to wait until this Friday for the next clue. I wonder where we are going next? I would love to go to somewhere tropical with lots of fish to watch. Good think I still have one baby bunny in the yard to watch.

Well, that’s all the news.

This is Hannah, signing off.

The Mother of Cats is so bored she is knitting this pair of socks in the airport while we wait for the next clue to drop…

Hannah and the CoalBear: Hannah takes to Sharon Air

Hi. I’m Hannah.

You’ll never guess what I’ve been up to!

I’ve taken on a huge adventure! I heard last week from Sharon from Security that there has been a huge crisis… the Priceless Golden Bag of Cat Treats has been stolen by Chad the Mongolian Death Worm from the Museum of Gyptian Civilization in Cairo. Sharon from Security needed me to head right over to Cairo to help out with the investigation.

I immediately dusted off my passport and booked a flight to Cairo on Sharon Air so I could join Sharon in the investigation. Sharon made the arrangements for me to fly Cardboard Box Class (instead of Squeakin Mouse Class or Litter Class) which was just fabulous because…

I freakin’ love cardboard boxes!!

Anyway, my flight left last Friday, and I was off to help the best I could. That Chad is a sneaky one and I think that he probably already slithered (slimed?) his way out of Cairo and before you know it, I will be back in the air heading to a new location.

See, I had a boarding pass and everything!!

Okay, if you haven’t figured it all out yet, I am doing the Sharon Air MKAL with the Mother of Cats and we started with the first clue last Friday. The Mother of Cats worried about the colors of yarns a lot and kept digging around in the yarn stash for a couple of weeks looking for nice yarns to use. She finally settled on these:

Pretty cool colors, right?!

I’m not really, really in Cairo, but is sure is fun to pretend that I am. I bet there are great bugs there for me to chase. Did you see that my job on the passport is “Flycatcher”? I am such a great flycatcher that I knocked over a lamp and tore down some curtains this week. The Mother of Cats was pretty cool about all the commotion, but I think that I had better take it easy for a couple of days. There was also a problem with an orchid plant hitting the ground, but the CoalBear did that one… did I mention that there was a fly?

When I haven’t been chasing flies this week, I’ve been helping the Mother of Cats with the knitting.

I’ve been taking my job as knitting helper really seriously and the Mother of Cats only make a few mistakes (Sharon Snax) and hasn’t done any whining or done anything to earn a citation from Sharon. That Sharon, she doesn’t put up with any whining or questions from humans who stupidly failed to read the directions which is absolutely reasonable, right? I love Sharon! Did I mention that the cardboard box on the plane had a little hole in it so I could poke my neighbor? Yay!

Today we finished knitting all of the clues that Sharon gave us for Cairo. Does it look a little like pyramids to you?

Sharon is really busy and won’t have time to send us more clues until Friday so I’m going to just keep myself busy for a couple of days while the Mother of Cats knits on boring stuff like socks and hats and who knows what else. Maybe she will knit me another toy mouse. I hope that she makes me a warm parka because Sharon did drop a clue about having to go to somewhere cold for the next part of the investigation. I don’t like snow very much; nasty stuff, snow. Maybe she can knit pink booties for my feet? Darn it, this investigation stuff is hard work!

I’m going to take it easy tomorrow and eat lots and lots of cookies to get ready for the next part of the adventure.

This is Hannah, signing off.

Sharon loves sushi, but I am going to go hunt up a fly to chase.

Note from the Mother of Cats: Sharon is Casapinka’s employee/security specialist/cat and this MKAL is run by them. You can check out my Ravelry page here if you are interested in knowing more about my yarns.

Month’s End Report: July, 2022

July was quite the month! A lot of it was hot, really hot. I felt great for a part of the month due to a drug-induced power surge that carried me through lots of landscaping in the back yard. I read two books that were just exhausting. I went crazy for color and bought more yarn. I cooked, sewed, knitted and planted lots and lots of new plants in my gardens. A great month, July!

Today I drank my morning latte out on the deck and thought about everything that got done last month. There were new birds in the yard (blue jays!) and a small flight of honking geese flew over me as did my watering. Most of the baby bunnies have moved on, and the butterflies of July are gone. The flowering plants are recovering after a short break in the heat last week and I look forward to the late summer blooms. It is now August, but I can sense the looming presence of autumn just over the horizon.

In the yard this morning: a just bathed robin fluffed out and drying on the fence, the very first hydrangea bloom on my shrub, and a woodpecker (!) stabbing for insects in my freshly watered lawn.

So this was the month:

I finished my Salty Air Tee! It used exactly 2 skeins of sock yarn and is just perfect to wear now and will be great for layering later. I am now a fan of I-cord bind offs and used them on the sleeve and at the bottom of the body. The neckline was a little loose, so I picked up stitches along the cast on edge and put an I-cord BO around the neck, too! Perfect fix to a sloppy neck problem!
I finished a pair of socks!! This yarn, from Hue Loco, is in the Blast Off colorway. Perfect for the month!
I sewed a drawstring project bag, and then I spent some time on YouTube watching tutorials and learned how to sew zipper pouches from my “Knitting Goddess” fabric. I still have some of the fabric left over so I just ordered a pattern to make itty, bitty sewn boxes from it. 🙂

I read two books that were a handful. Black Leopard, Red Wolf is confusing, exhausting, and maybe the best book I have read this year. Think about the Lord of the Rings trilogy set in African antiquity, awash with magic and violence, and you would have this book. Hummingbird Salamander is a cliffhanging ecothriller that also chronicles the trainwreck of the main character along with the impending crash of the planet. Another good book, but one that I feel went too far down the climate change rabbit hole. Neither one of these books is uplifting. Nope, not at all. Worthy reads, but not good entertainment on a blistering hot day.

That’s it. In July I used up 4.75 skeins of yarn. I knitted one chemo hat and 5 PICC line covers. I finished a sweater and a pair of socks. You already know about the books.

Crocheting with Hannah.

I have cast on several new projects, and I’m still feeling pretty ambitious and getting things done, but the prednisone party is definitely over. In my new, dialed down state, I’m slowly knitting on a new cat, crocheting squares for a still undefined purpose, and sending my loom some regular side-eye. The spinning wheel has been put back into a corner but I’m hoping to return to it when the weather cools. I’ve pulled out a quilt project and I need to head on over to YouTube again to learn how to paper piece…

Bring it on, August. I’m ready for you!

Hannah and the CoalBear: Hot Caturday!

Hi. I’m Hannah.

It is so hot I’m hanging out on the coffee table under the ceiling fan!

It is seriously, seriously hot! How hot, you ask? Well, check out the bunny out front…

Bunny: Ahh… here’s a cool patch of dirt!

And Mateo can hardly move in the heat of the day!

Seriously, he looks like he is melting!

Mateo and I kind of come back to life in the evenings when we head downstairs to watch the baby bunnies in the back window (it’s bunny o’clock then!) and in the late evenings, when the Mother of Cats moves upstairs to read before bed we move onto the bookshelf, up by the ceiling fan for the night.

Hannah: The Mother of Cats took this picture crooked, but you get the idea. I sleep on a shelf with books, and Mateo the wild boy sleeps up on the top shelf.

Well, guess who fell off the bookshelf at 3am this morning? Yep. That would be the wild boy, of course. I just looked over the side of the shelf to see if Mateo was okay, but the Mother of Cats had to track him down and fuss over him forever like he was still some type of baby or something. Whatever. Since everyone else was up I decided that I might as well get some cookies… then the Mother of Cats needed a glass of juice… then there was lots of tossing and turning that disturbed my sleep…

Now it is the day, and we are asleep again in the cool by the AC unit. All of the squirrels and bunnies are asleep too, and there aren’t even bees moving around outside. It’s only noon but it is already 95 degrees outside and the Mother of Cats is searching the sky in hopes of some thunderstorm clouds for this afternoon. She likes the rain, but the CoalBear doesn’t like the thunder at all!!

Mateo: thunder is bad!!

Isn’t Mateo (AKA the CoalBear) the silliest thing ever? All I care about is staying cool this hot afternoon…

and I am safely asleep by my favorite books waiting for evening to come.

Happy Caturday, everyone!

Note from the Mother of Cats: if you are currently in one of the places on the planet that is experiencing dangerous heat, I hope that you are safe and doing okay. Hugs to everyone under a high heat alert or experiencing wildfires. Stay safe!

The BioGeek Memoirs: Squirrel

Growing up as a little girl in Southern California I never saw many squirrels. They were this cute little animal that you might be able to see if you went up into the mountains. If you were lucky, you might be able to feed part of your lunch to a ground squirrel at a rest stop. They were rare, elusive, cute, and I absolutely, positively wanted to have one as a pet.

Look at the tail on this little guy who has been hanging out in my back yard!!

Then I moved to Colorado. Squirrels rule here!!! If you offer some food to a squirrel at a park you might get mobbed. Seriously, I had to once pick up a child and back away from the descending mob of squirrels after tossing out some scraps of bread. They are so cute, but best to not encourage them too much. They eat all the yummy food growing in gardens (ahem… strawberries and grapes… ), raid the trash, and aren’t above dragging off the dog’s Kong to get the treats inside. Bird feeders are actually squirrel feeders. These guys are so bright that it is almost impossible to keep them out of the feeders. There were some “squirrel proof” feeders at the local bird supply store, but I just laughed and bought a bird house. I love the squirrels, but I am not feeding them, because… previously mobbed by hungry squirrels…

Teenaged squirrels playing this spring on a garden chair.

Here where I live now there are squirrel nests in trees all around, and this last year a nest finally arrived in my front tree. It looks like a huge ball of leaves caught up in the branches; three cute little squirrel youngsters showed up this spring racing around the trunk, over the branches, and across the roof to my back yard where they access the fence which serves as the highway to all the other houses on my block. I call this Squirrel Route One, and the movement of little feet over the roof and the scrabble of squirrels along the fence are my morning entertainment every day while I’m outside on the deck drinking my morning latte. Why look at what has happened: I have pet squirrels after all!

The pictures show squirrels moving on Squirrel Route One: along the fence, then down into the yard to my deck, across the deck, and then a fast climb to the upper supports and a leap onto the roof. These squirrels aren’t above checking me out to see if I have some unsecured snacks. Nope, little guys. Move along!!

I do make sure that there is water for the squirrels, however.

There are several types of squirrels in Colorado, and these guys seem to be a type of tree squirrel called the fox squirrel. They provide endless entertainment for me and the cats and were great distractions (Squirrel!!!) for me as I recovered from surgery this spring. I used squirrels in my teaching; there was a white squirrel in a Denver park a few years ago, and I used the videotaped newscast about her in my biology classroom. That white squirrel wasn’t an albino as her eyes were dark, and her offspring were all normal in coloration. “What type of genetic mutation is this?” I would ask the class. (It’s recessive.) What would the Punnett square of the offspring look like? If two offspring mated (I know… icky… just go with it!) what would be the chance of another white squirrel? Is this a genetic feature that will be selected for? What if our weather changed and it was snowy all the time? The kids loved the white squirrel lesson. Well, they are so darn cute, what’s not to like?

Adult (not white) squirrel on my ash tree.

I’m not above having fun with squirrels and my neighbors. Squirrels can be enormous pests, and a few years ago they managed to work their way into my next-door neighbor’s attic where they went wild eating the wire insulation. Bad squirrels!! I printed out a recipe for squirrel pot pie and anonymously taped it to their front door. I know, I’m bad. They trapped those squirrels, repaired the roof, and I’m pretty sure that none of the squirrels became dinner. Pretty sure…

They got back by feeding the squirrels that remained lots and lots of peanuts in the shells that the squirrels buried all over my yard and in the gardens.

I gave them a little stuffed toy squirrel wearing baby booties when they had a new baby.

Squirrel wars!

That neighbor eventually moved away and just a couple of weeks ago she called me to catch up on all the neighborhood news. “I now have a squirrel nest!” I told her. They are living in a new housing area without mature trees now and there are no squirrels. They miss them.

Because squirrels are so darn cute!!

And they are favorites of watching cats everywhere!

The Scleroderma Chronicles: Unforeseen Circumstances and Unintended Consequences

I guess almost everyone in the world knows by now that the United States Supreme Court issued a ruling last month (June 24th) that overturned the constitutional right for a woman in the United States to seek an abortion at any time during the first two trimesters of pregnancy.

This post isn’t really about abortions, okay. This is about the unbelievable unintended consequences of that decision for women who are dealing with unforeseen circumstances. Women who are dealing with medical conditions that they never saw coming, and that they absolutely did not bring upon themselves.

Like autoimmune disease. Like cancer. Like any one of a number of medical conditions that require serious, high-risk medical interventions by the medical professionals who are treating that woman.

My first inkling that there might be a problem with the Supreme Court ruling that was much larger than what was being reported in the press happened the evening of June 29. A woman in one of my autoimmune online support groups posted that she saw a message from a doctor who had a patient reporting that she couldn’t get her methotrexate prescription renewed. I literally couldn’t sleep that night I was so upset. In the days that followed there were more reports, and this is really happening to some women. They are being denied refilling of their methotrexate prescriptions. This drug is a common one used to treat autoimmune diseases like rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and scleroderma. It is a chemo drug, it can harm an unborn child, and it can also be used to induce an abortion. Here is an article on Health.com, another at msn Everyday Health, and this one from Time.com.

My morning pills.

There are some serious drugs there in my hand. The green pills, Myfortic, can harm an unborn child by causing birth defects or a miscarriage. I take 6 of those every day. The white capsule, omeprazole, should only be used “only if the benefit outweighs the risk to the fetus”. I have to take two of those each day. That little pink pill towards the upper left is the really big problem in my hand. That drug, ambrisentan, required a rigorous enrollment process with paperwork from my cardiologist and myself along with two interviews by pharmacists. I had to prove that I could not get pregnant to avoid taking a pregnancy test prior to each month’s supply of the drug being shipped to me. Even with all of that, I am screened each month before the next month’s supply is overnight express shipped to me. This drug poses a serious risk to a fetus. In my support groups for pulmonary hypertension there are women who are reporting that they are getting dropped from the programs that allow them to get the drug.

I’m okay because I’m beyond childbearing age. Many other women who are dealing with autoimmune diseases that require drugs such as these are of childbearing age. Why? Because the people in the population who are at the greatest risk of developing an autoimmune disease are women of childbearing age, that’s why. Because of the recent decision about access to abortion these women are also now at possible risk of being denied treatment for their autoimmune disease, or in the worse-case scenario, access to an abortion in consultation with their medical professionals.

I literally couldn’t sleep when I read the first reports of the problems with access to methotrexate in my online forums. This is absolutely unbelievable. This is unbearable. How could this be happening to a population of desperate woman, through no fault of their own, who are in this horrible situation? Right now, methotrexate is being targeted, but there are all these other drugs that are used for so many patients with so many conditions. Women, absolutely, are at risk of receiving inferior health care in the US.

This is awful. Have a rose. Right now, I need a rose. And a hug.

This is hitting me hard this evening because I have been dealing with autoimmune pneumonia since last December. My doctors are trying to get it under control with high dose immunosuppressants, but I am coming off one of them right now and I am struggling with shortness of breath and chest pain once again. I’m back on daytime oxygen and I’m feeling a little low. The lung biopsy was the first engagement with my interstitial lung disease, this current drug strategy the second battle, and the third battle is looming on the horizon. This isn’t a disease; it is a war. I never asked for this, and yet, here I am trapped in this unforeseen circumstance, engaged with an uncurable foe. Without the drugs in my hand above, I would already be gone. Yay, science!!

I think that there is another CT scan in my near future, and then there is a possibility that my doctors will move to the Plan B (see what I did there) that they have already discussed with me. Cyclophosphamide (a chemo drug) and OFEV (an anti-fibrotic drug) are on deck if my doctors decide to escalate my care. Both of these drugs can harm an unborn child. I will get access to these drugs. If I was in my 30s, as many other members of my support groups are, it might be a different story. What about women in other support groups that I don’t belong to who just got diagnosed with cancer or an equally serious disease who also need medical treatment with high-risk drugs such as these? Women of childbearing age. Women who may already have children who they need to think of and care for in their health care journey.

Being diagnosed with an autoimmune disease like the ones that I have (systemic sclerosis and Sjogren’s disease) is a punch to the gut. Being denied access to treatment because of your childbearing status is an unbearable second blow. Becoming pregnant while on one of these drugs would place a woman in an impossible situation. Nothing, NOTHING, about this situation is good. Where is the privacy for these women? Where are the HIPPA protections that they are entitled to? The decisions that these women face are absolutely heartbreaking, morally complicated, and ethically challenging. They deserve privacy as they make them along with their health care providers, religious advisors, and families.

This post isn’t about abortion, not really. This post is about unforeseen circumstances and unintended consequences.

I feel a lot better for having gotten this out.

Peace be with you all.

Take this rose with you as you go.

But if you decide to share this post, write a congressperson, join a march, or take some other action to ensure that women have equal access to health care, that would be great.

Down the Fiber Hole and Other Essential Updates.

If you have been keeping up with the adventures of Casa Hannah and the CoalBear you know that I have been feeling just freaking wonderful for the last two week and getting more done than at any time in the last two years. I’ve been planting lots of new plants and getting all the gardens into order (for the first time in years because… next door pit bull who has now left the scene… yay… adios, pit bull…), and dragging out lots of things to get working on that have been languishing for years. The garden is starting to produce some color with the perennials now which is awesome as I’m seeing hot pinks and purples. Lavender, bougainvillea, and sage. Perfect!

Um… and then the party came crashing to a halt a few days ago as I started weaning myself off prednisone (marvelous stuff, prednisone!) and I got a little dizzy, and I… fell off the stairs. I literally realized I was going to be airborne at the last second and managed to push off enough to twist around and land on my feet in the living room where I pretty much crashed landed into the couch. Sad outcome. Did you realize that you can actually bruise your lungs? Okay, my lungs are less than pristine, but still… my ribs aren’t too happy, either. There was some talk about my liver… I had to stay indoors over the weekend and go back onto daytime oxygen.

That, however, did not stop me from going down the fiber rabbit hole!!

I finished the first silk/yak roving from Greenwood Fiberworks and am ready to start on the second.

I’ve been considering how to attack the variegated roving. Should I separate the colors? Do pencil rovings down the length of the larger piece? Just take it off in strips and let the colors end up however? Still thinking about this one, but I am tending towards pencil rovings.

I made some really good progress on my Salty Air Tee.

I love, love, love the yarn that I am using for this sweater. Isn’t that the perfect color for summertime knitting? This pattern is racing right along and I’m racing to get it finished because… some new patterns dropped on Ravelry and I am dying to knit one of them.

This is the Lace & Fade Boxy by Joji Locatelli, and that first picture is swiped off the Ravelry page and has her copyright. I have four skeins of a dark grey fingering yarn with smoky/woody tones that I am dying to use for this sweater. My first idea is to knit the entire sweater in the main color (lace and all… ignore the fade, we don’t need no stinking fade because I have four skeins of this color…) and then go back and knit I-cord trim at the neck, bottom, and wrists in that really cool multi yarn. That will look awesome, right? On the other hand, if there is enough yarn, I can do the lace in a fade with the pink yarns. I only have just over 100 yards of each color, so that may not work, but it might look pretty cool. I really am tending towards doing the whole sweater in the solid fingering. I have knitted two boxy sweaters in the past (the Vneck version) and I know them to be comfy layering workhorses in cold weather.

Then there is the crocheting. I haven’t crocheted in years because of my dodgy wrists, but I loved this bag (Square Scramble Sack) on Ravelry so much I bought the Noro yarn a week ago. Like I need more yarn, right? I had to order the crochet hooks from Amazon and then I was off to YouTube to learn how to make the puff stitch… that first little square has too many puffs in it, but I felt pretty successful and I’m now making a few squares every day that I don’t fall off the stairs.

There are two more sweaters that I want to knit, but I’ve got them on the back burner at the moment because I’m so far down the fiber hole at the moment I am just focusing on working steadily on each project for a few hours each day. Or maybe every other day so I don’t wear out my hip (spinning) or wrists (crochet). So far I’m making progress and I’m recovering from the fall okay at the same time so all is good. Except… the days of prednisone wonder are coming to an end as I feel the energy and the good times fading away. I start the lowest dose tomorrow and after a week it will be over.

Still, if you look at all those pictures that I put into this post, the days of color continue. Yay! My gardens have been returned to some semblance of order, I am making good progress on a number of projects, and I also got some chores done.

Hannah: I was put into the carrier and then put into the car and then taken to the vet and then I got cat-handled and there were some shots and would you believe that the vet said that I was slightly pudgy

Seriously, PUDGY!!!

Hannah: Now I have to eat Indoor Cat food and the Mother of Cats has cut back on my cookies. Ugh.

That was my week. 🙂

You all watch out for those stairs!!!